Gringos are from Mars, Ticos are from Venus

The article entitled “Costa Rica People – How To Communicate with the Ticos”, by Eric Liljenstolpe, offers valuable insight into the cultural abyss between Gringos and Ticos. Anyone Gringo living or doing business in CR who decides to ignore, or attempts to change this reality does so at their own peril.

As Mr. Liljenstolpe points out, even fluent Spanish speakers can be culturally illiterate, and their clear and concise wording may have unintentional meaning.

In English, there is only one word for “now”, and that’s “now”. In Spanish there are at least 4 words for “now”, and none of them mean “now”.

Ahora = Sometime in the next few weeks, but maybe never.

Ahorita = Sometime in the next few days, if you’re lucky.

Ahoritita = Soon, but the speaker probably hopes you’ll fall asleep beforehand and forget about the whole thing.

Ahora mismo = Pretty soon, with a hint of actual urgency. Use with caution.

If you want to say “right now” try “Ya”, pronounced “Jah”, followed up by a commanding “soque”, pronounced “so-kay”. You won’t make friends, but these are the true action words on the planet Tiquicia.

Seriously, the author correctly points out that, while Gringos are direct (i.e. “rude”), Ticos are indirect (i.e. “show good manners”). All of this makes for awkward social situations, challenging marital relations, and disastrous business outcomes.

Another hint that language represents far less than 50% of the tools used to communicate is noted by anyone visiting a Tico in their home. When you say “Que casa más bonita” (“What a pretty house”) to your host, the answer will invariably be “Allí lo tiene” (“It’s yours”). Left unwritten and unsaid in any existing communicational resource manual, except for WeLoveCostaRica.com of course, is that while it is the responsibility of every host to offer his or her home to a guest, it is equally the responsibility of the guest to never take up this offer.

While I adore Costa Rica and its people, it is an unfortunate truth that saying the right thing at the right time will get you far in this country, even though the conviction behind your words is non-existent. Many Costa Ricans privately admire Gringos who don’t beat around the bush, but it still rubs them the wrong way.

Want to get on well with Tico acquaintances? Be cordial, don’t ask personal questions or share intimate details of your personal life, be agreeable, and for Pete’s sake don’t criticize (exactly who Pete is I have no idea, but people seem to care about him a lot). Learn the following few phrases which represent the bulk of all casual conversation among Ticos, and use them generously.

“Hola, cómo está?”
“Cómo está su mamá?”
“Y los chiquitos?”
“Que Dios le bendiga”
“Si Dios quiere”
“Que le vaya bien”
“Saludos a la familia”

Things could be worse. I teach Ticos on the way to NYC the phrase “Why are you talking to me?”