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Today is one of those surrealistic candy cane mornings with tinted clouds leading way to a sacred sunrise. Costa Rica is a place that seems to assist God washing away ones misdeeds and renewing faith in a world obviously flawed. Where have we as humans lost what makes us that. Where did we turn, how did we lose the genuine feeling we had as children to be of service to one another? Mornings like this empower compassion and excitement to help without material award. Is this the allure of this tiny country?
Why have we, this unique spices blessed with the ability to admire the beauty that surrounds us, forgot our ability to rise above the trappings of objects and settle down to helping a neighbor who hurts or an acquaintance in need. Morning such as this with chirps and pastels framed against emerald landscapes replenish ones soul and remind that world citizenship is the campaign advanced one person at a time and all that we disagree about is that which unites us and we experience unity in diversity because of our commonality – humanity. Costa Rica provides a unique pallet to draw upon while illustrating the human condition in all its diversity and glorious imperfection set on a stage that could not be more perfect. What is it about this tiny little country, what calls us here?
Very nice Diego you seem to have had an “it” moment when we feel the absolute interconnectedness of everything. As children we don’t just “think” but simply be and let life unfold one moment at a time. As we age we develop stories, roles and ideals that we believe in our lives become goal oriented or we just become drones that collapse on the couch in front of the TV, hoping we make it to 65 to retire. Diego from your posts you seem very attached to roles that people must play in order for life to make sense. But perhaps what you felt this morning as the sun broke through the clouds transcends all this and simply “being” is enough? Maybe the world isn’t that important as it goes through it ten millionth change; war, peace, hot, cold, warm etc…maybe just finding our wholeness our peace perhaps God has given us everything but it’s all so close we can’t see it? Instead we search for meaning in religion, wealth, status,politics…
Life is a stage and we all play roles and that is part of our commonality. However it is amusement, nothing more. The day that brings us light and air is what sustains. All the rest is merely style. In CR right now there is a saying – solo bueno – or = it’s all good. Well it is all good, excepts somes better. And the interesting thing is that once you accept the mundane you find that it is the “somes better” part. People go on and on about the richness of life you deserve and how money well let you lead and extraordinary life. What a crock of ****. There is nothing but extraordinary life. No life is merely ordinary all life as the word indicates is extra ordinary. The paradox lies in the word ordinary, its connotation seem to mean “boring” to most. You want the ordinary extraordinary experience, go to a place where there is very little material wealth and a lot of educated people (Cuba?) intermingling with country folk. Its all extra-ordinary once you remove yourself from the marketing machine that perpetuates endless wants.
You two are a hoot! I’ve had those mornings, Diego, when I awaken to a sunrise that is more beautiful than any painting I’ve ever seen, and all the sounds of nature remind me that my experiences in Costa Rica are something money cannot buy (although money allowed me to build and house and live there). It was only after spending 9 months out of the last two years there did I come to truly understand the meaning of Pura Vida, and I feel very lucky that I can continue to experience the lifestyle in Costa Rica far away from the media influences that dictate our status in life. Most importantly, I learned that we are all the same in some respects whether we are wealthy or making just enough money to get by. The Ticos I interact with show me that happiness comes from within, not from without, and the simpler you keep your life, the happier you will be. I’m counting the days until I go back — life in the States no longer has me in its thrall, and the things I miss most about Costa Rica are the people I deal with on a daily basis, who have taught me much about living and being.
very simply, what calls ME to Costa Rica is the absolute stunning beauty of the landscape. Perhaps over time, I’ll see the other things you guys are talking about. This is not the first place where I have read about people living in Costa Rica who developed similar strong urges to be helpful to others. Maybe it’s the weather, or the culture, or the scenery or all of those things. But even if I don’t get that urge, I am sure just living on the side of a mountain surrounded by waterfalls and singing birds will be enough. It also is hopeful to see that some expats are able to shrug off the influence of years of living in the States.
Though I’m not living in CR yet (it’s a dream in progress) I am drawn there by the experiences I’ve had. From every single person wishing me a “buenos dias” on my way to breakfast from the little old ladies to young men, heck even the dogs are friendly, waking up to birds singing, sunsets that make even atheists believe in God….solo buenos! I must admit that my ego is constantly stroked by handsome young men calling me bonita, linda, etc… I absolutely love it. In the US, people don’t tell you what they’re thinking, and you have to guess how they feel. The heart is worn on the sleeve in CR.
By the way, “palette” (as in an artist’s palette) is the correct spelling in your particular case Diego.
So would you reply in kind feeling in the US if men called you beautiful or would you find it unattractive? In the US when you pay a woman a compliment as such, they usually do not show any appreciation. In CR when I pay a woman a compliment I get a sincere thank you. For the life of me I do not understand why women cannot realize their feminine power, instead of equating masculine traits with power. That’s for another thread.
However hennalounge, I find your post quite accurate in the way it describes the ambiance and feeling of Costa Rica.
Also I think I deserve at least some acknowledegement of the post I began, at least more than a spelling correction.
I just had to put one up here. I think all of you guys are really great. We all have different political views, yet we all have common ground when we can talk about Costa Rica. It is truly a special place for each of us. It embodies all the dreams and hopes of a better life. One to be realized or one to be recaptured. For us it is the recaptured life that draws us to that peaceful country and the wonderful Ticos. It always reminds me of how it was when I was growing up. We didn’t have a lot then but we were happier and everyone said hello and you knew you neighbors. Even the ones a block away. Now it’s hard to know the people who live next door.
Walking the streets of Alajuela or San Jose reminds my wife and myself of our childhood every time. We may not want to end up living in the city, but it brings back great memories.
The natural beauty is something you can even see while in the city by just looking toward the horizon and seeing the mountains. The beaches are just a short ride from almost anywhere.
The lack of distraction by technology (which is fast fading) keeps us focused on people and interacting with them. Even our kids, on their first visit, said they felt comfortable and at home there and everyone goes out of their way to make you feel welcome. The entire lifestyle is what appeals to us, and hopefully one day the dream can be fulfilled.
Someone once said, “You are drawn to Costa Rica” and for the most part that is what it is. Either you love it, or you don’t. Most people think we are crazy to love a third world country the way we do. I just say, it’s great to be crazy!Diego, I think cultural differences play a great role in how women perceive unsolicited compliments from men. In US culture, any compliment paid in the workplace is considered sexual harrassment. Men are routinely discouraged from complimenting a woman on her hair, clothes, shoes, make-up, etc. and women are taught that these comments are an invasion of some sort, for which the women can file a grievance against the person making the comment. The American workplace has thus been reduced to a neutral environment. We, as women, are taught that unsolicited compliments are a subtle threat to us. This was the climate in which I worked in the executive level of a major bank, an entirely different atmosphere than the entertainment industry where all kinds of comments and displays of affection were commoplace. However, when I am in Costa Rica, the atmosphere is totally different. There was one time when I went to town with a male friend of mine. We parked the car and when I got out at the curb, a very elderly gentlement who had been sitting on his porch, stood up, leaned against his railing and said hello to me in Spanish. I replied, and smiled, and he then asked in Spanish if I was American, and I said, yes, and then he said, “You are a fine looking woman” (in perfect English!) Now, remember, I was with a male friend, but this elderly gentlement didn’t know if that was my husband, brother, boyfriend, and yet he complmented me anyway, and my friend said as we got out of earshot, “that could’ve been your future ex-husband.” I didn’t find the old man’s comment offensive at all. In fact, I was flattered. I don’t know how I would react if the same incident had occurred in the US, but I’ve been inculcated with the idea that this is just not acceptable. And then there is the armed and Kevlared bank guard at Banco Nacional, who after inspecting my handbag says, “Gracias, mi amor.” Would that EVER happen in the States. I doubt it because the guard would lose his job, but in Costa Rica, it’s an every day event and I think it is one of the most charming aspects of Tico life — their admiration and respect of women.
You hit the nail on the head, Maravilla, re the US corporate world. Shoot, I’m a FEMALE in upper management and really have to watch what I say/do to my subordinates…males & females alike.
But…away from work most of us normal women here up north enjoy some A-Tention! Shoot, this morning I got a suggestive compliment from an 85-year-old man! Guess he figures at his age, he has nothing to lose. So I winked and gave him a thrill.
Seriously, I don’t think that MOST USA women are so uptight, but agree that the “Latin” attention may take some getting used to…for some. I’ve found that the Gringos I know living there in CR have fallen into the mold very nicely and I fully expect them to address me “mi amor” or “My Love” if their Spanish is not so good. But My hubby just doesn’t quite understand why other men would call me “my love”! I’m always trying to explain…Another thread, perhaps:).
Beth
Columbus, OH, USA for now.“The American workplace has thus been reduced to a neutral environment.”
Great overall reply. I would amend your statement to “The American culture has become a neutral environment. As far as being masculine goes, I was change it to “the american culture has become a neutered environment.” And that is not good for you gals either. The unacceptability to compliment women reduces males natural hunting instincts. One of the tools of the hunt is chivalry. Would you spend time hunting for something that is unavailable? That is why in the US chivalry is dead. And this relates to the second excellent point you made
“We, as women, are taught that unsolicited compliments are a subtle threat to us.”
Marvy, you are a thinker, obviously quite bright, I ask you to explore that and why you accept those teachings. Please elaborate.
“I think it is one of the most charming aspects of Tico life – their admiration and respect of women.”
This represents my point. Ticos very much still see women as something to be taken care of, something delicate. Feminine. This perception has been lost in the US. I would never want to open a door for Paris Hilton and can you imagine Hilary Clinton as some one who is delicate and you would want to care of? She is an insult to femininity. Now I saw Nancy Regan on TV while in a hotel last night. She is an example of feminine power. Not a woman using masculine power, but a woman commanding respect not only because of her position but because of her femininity. A respect that we men want to give freely, but we do not want to be coerced to respect women if they are exhibiting masculine traits – just because they have different genitals.
Men very much want a feminine counterpart and more so a competent feminine counterpart but not at the sake of sacrificing their masculinity.
That’s why I date simple girls. Even the gal I’m dating now is educated and a high wager earner by CR standards but obviously retains her femininity. How do I know she is feminine, because I instinctually open the door for her, sit her at the restaurant table and converse about the menu and then order what she likes. And she feels complimented that I, the man, handle these trivial yet important tasks. I don’t do that in the US. In the US, I see so many women speaking in loud tones to men and saying things a man would not dare say to another man, for fear of a fist fight, that I have lost my feelings for women as being feminine. They are just neutral. Not a man, not a woman, just neutral. I think that is bad for both men and women. I think the ball is in the women’s court regarding rekindling chivalry in the US male and restoring balance to masculine feminine relations. I fear it has become a lost art. Too bad for women as competence and femininity are an awesome combination that is irresistible to men and further cohesive and natural relationships. The only book I have ever read that addresses these issues somewhat is Dr Laura’s the proper care and feeding of husbands. Although not a great book, certainly a start and worthwhile read.
An insightful reply, as usual, Deigo. I’m no longer in the corporate workplace, but when I was, the mere hint of any personal commentary on how a person looked was considered sexual harassment, punishable by all kinds of horrific measures. In the extreme, those rules, laws, and dictums made all of us little automatons, just there to do a job. Contrast that to the entertainment industry where the atmosphere was loose, displays of affection were common, comments on anything were accepted, and because I was working in a primarily male-dominated segment of that industry, I had to tolerate all kinds of lewd and lascivious behavior — most of it in good fun, not either a physical or emotional threat to a woman. I just figured it was what men did, and most of it was rather amusing. I was always considered the “inside woman” — someone who didn’t make the men conform to some ridiculous standard just because I had to work with them. I don’t agree with this neutering of our society, but I didn’t make the rules, and it wasn’t until I was living in Costa Rica that I realized how oppressed the rules have made us. I find that chivalry is alive and well in Costa Rica; I appreciate all those kinds gestures that Ticos exhibit — I experienced it with my construction workers who treated me with respect that I rarely receive in the States — they were some of the most well-mannered and kind young men I’ve ever encountered. So I’m starting to undersand your Weltanschauung as it pertains to the American woman’s loss of feminity. I just don’t know what to do about it as it is now part of American culture, and we are being told that this is the best thing for us, not that I’ve ever believed what I was told, so I guess I will keep doing what I’ve always done and that is accept a man’s chivalrous gestures with grace and appreciation.
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