“We went from only seeing each other a couple of hours in the evenings, to being together basically 24/7”. This is what Kate Jennings tells people when they ask how the transition was moving here to Costa Rica.

It is a valid concern that couples and families most likely will experience in one form or another. As you start to get settled in your new home and surroundings, start making friends and possibly getting involved in the community, over time it becomes less and less of an issue or concern for most people. Typically the first 6 to 12 months can be the hardest, especially for families.




There was a couple we met about 6 or 7 months after we moved here that highlight some of the potential problems that can arise in making the overall transition. The issue with them became apparent immediately when the wife asked Kate, “so dear, tell me how are you adjusting”?




She obviously was not handling her own transition well as she asked Kate this question the first three times we ran into them. Both having recently retired most likely compounded the issues that arise in making a move such as this. Retirement in itself can be a trying time and difficult transition.

The wife’s main issue was she missed her children, grandchildren, and shopping. The husband in contrast loved their new life and freedom. He started boogie boarding for the first time, loved the nature and wildlife and walking on the beach. The wife later commented too how much she missed the ladies groups she was involved with back home.




The couple had previously purchased property and made the move while building a new home on the lot they had purchased in Jaco. They built a beautiful home with a nice pool. In less than one year after completing their home they sold it and at the urging of the wife they moved back to their home state of Florida.




Are they a happier couple now? Only they can tell you for sure. Were they doomed to failure from the very beginning? Perhaps, but were there things they could have done before making a move such as this that would have made the outcome different? In fact, was their experience really one that would be described as a failure? I posed the question to Psychotherapist Kristy Raihn and she had this to offer.

“I don’t believe that their experience was actually one of failure. Just because they returned back to Florida does not mean that they failed. They probably learned a lot about themselves, what their priorities are and how they want to live their lives. All very important information and most likely their experience living here helped them define it even more clearly.”




To offer a perspective of making this type of transition with a family, I asked Kristy to share with me a little about their experience and thoughts on the subject. As mentioned, Kristy is a psychotherapist and she and her family are also friends of ours.




The Raihns moved here three years ago with their two daughters, now ages 16 and 13. Kristy shared that the adjustment to being together 24/7 was also a challenge for them, but that the rewards of their family’s closeness has been worth the difficulties of the process.

Both she and her husband have shared that there were times within their first year of living here that if they had kept their home in California, there was a very good possibility that they would have returned during that first year. Now three years later, they are so pleased that such an option was not available to them and that they now have the life that they do here in Costa Rica.




“It definitely has been one of great change and growth for us all, from figuring out our daughters’ education, how and where we are able to create an income, creating new friendships, becoming a part of our community, and most importantly, how to live together”, shared Kristy.

“Our lives in California were very busy lives with many outside influences. Living here has been about bringing the focus back into the home and being together. This is very much inline with the Latino way, the focus being on the family, not the individual, and I feel very blessed to be living such a life”, she added.




As a professional in the field of relationships, Kristy shared that a move, especially to a foreign country, with so many unknowns, such as the struggles of a new language, the extra amount of time together, and the cultural differences, are right up there with dealing with the stress of death, marriage, building a house, and having a baby.

“Assimilating into another culture is very difficult and studies have shown that it can take up to three generations before full assimilation actually happens. If you are the first generation within your family to move to a new country, then the chances of you becoming fully assimilated are very slim. But that doesn’t mean that you can not experience the joys of living in a new country… quite the opposite. Being realistic about your situation though, can make a difference in helping you to adjust to your new life”, commented Kristy.




“Similar to the other high stresses in one’s life, it is important to remember to allow ourselves the time to grieve, adjust, and grow with our new situation. Remaining open and patient during the process is important and a lot of kindness towards each other never hurts either”, she shared.




We often look at exciting changes we experience as the beginning of new chapters in our lives. The process of creating a new life and making the many adjustments to living in a new country obviously creates challenges.

Those experiences and challenges though are what help write this new chapter for us. For Kate and I the experience has only helped to deepen our relationship and we look forward to more challenges and the growth those bring.

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For more information about condos, homes and land for sale in the beach town of Jaco and surrounding areas please contact our Recommended Realtors in Jaco Shawn Fletcher and his wife Hannah Fletcher
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Andrew Makarik

to@welovecostarica.com

Andrew Makarik is the main editor of WeLoveCostaRica, a fan of this sunny country. He is also a loving husband and a has a lovely daughter. By being a devoted family man and the biggest Costa Rica fan, he wants to make more people feel at home there. WeLoveCostaRica unites people and helps them find new home or a new travel destination. This website is a friendly community where everyone can find not only information, but also new friends and travel pals. Andrew is also passionate about IT and programming, so he himself maintains a friendly atmosphere in this cozy environment of WeLoveCostaRica.com.