Moving to a new place and new country is daunting. Knowing no one well puts all the social norms and expectations on notice. How to begin?

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As part of a couple or family you can find support and reinforcement with others you know well. A person moving alone must find support in new acquaintances, new friends. Sometimes it feels like being back in first grade! But the person moving here alone does have one advantage.

To find new friends and acquaintances he or she MUST move out of a comfort zone and make a new life. Can’t rely on any other person to provide the social needs we have as humans.

After three months here there are days when I struggle with loneliness. Even though I have close neighbors nearby – the language barrier is sometimes a very real barrier. Sometimes I don’t want to have to try so hard to talk. I want to talk with someone in English.

I might even want to cry – which is hard because I don’t feel like I know anyone well enough. I very much miss my family and friends. Amazingly, one of the best things I’ve found so far is Skype. I can talk to a few family members on Skype and almost feel like they are here with me. I know it all takes time and slowly – very slowly – I am building a social life.

My principal social life is with my favorite non-humans, my dogs Livvie and Seurat, whose presence has been absolutely essential in this new environment and ongoing transition. And I find that in Costa Rica the wildlife is part of daily life. Recently my new friend, Mike witnessed an incredible sight. A huge migration, called a “spectacular migration” – thousands of birds soaring in the air, lazily heading north.

Closer inspection showed that they were birds of prey! When Mike first told me about it, I was doubtful. But seeing his photos sent me to my bird book where I read that this migration occurs in late March and includes mostly Broad winged hawks flying with Turkey vultures and Swainson’s hawks! I had no idea about hawk migrations! He said the sky was filled with them! One day I hope to see this migration!

And speaking of migrations – my own birds finally arrived here. My four parrots! Xena (Maroon bellied conure) and Beak (Half Moon Conure) together in one cage, Flash the African Senegal in another and Sage, the African Gray in a third.

At last the Costa Rican Ministry of Agriculture decided not to inspect my aviary but to instead charge me $500 more and I just gulped and agreed. So off to San Jose I went to greet my animal pals – once again at Denny’s near the airport.

The birds were ecstatic, recognizing me immediately. And when I got home with them and brought them into the house, Seurat jumped straight up off the floor to lick my face! All the animals are happy to be reunited. My immediate family is complete again. I don’t easily admit how much it cost me to get them here.

And the first night here they didn’t do any talking either. I imagine they were just wondering where they were. Slowly they have acclimated to their new surrounds and the excitement of living all together in an aviary..

When a beautiful dragonfly libelula came in through my window to pause on a window frame it was for me another message from the universe reaffirming the positive changes in this new place. The suddenness of its presence reminded me just how suddenly things can change. Loneliness can turn into a feeling of fulfillment. And it can happen in an instant.

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The most important and immediate part of my human social life is the three times a week that Anita and daughter, Melany come up to clean my house and take or return my laundry. They speak only Spanish and are absolutely essential in my life so I can learn and practice my Spanish and understand the culture. Often son Ronaldo comes along so I can teach them to paint.

I am fortunate that I live high on a difficult road and can offer walking neighbors a ride. They always accept and we briefly talk about the weather and they thank me and I get to tell them that it is nothing de nada or con mucho gusto (with pleasure). But for me it is a lot. They are feeling comfortable enough to get into my car and accept a ride from me – the lone Gringa in the neighborhood.

I am grateful and am learning their names and interests. Sometimes I pick up a whole carload of school kids on their way to or from school and I announce that I am “el bus” which makes them laugh. Sometimes I yearn for a quiet day at home – and am grateful when I get it – but most of the time I love interacting with all my neighbors in my infant Spanish. Especially the children!

Here the children are so open! They look directly into my eyes when they see me and always greet me with a smile and a wave! I expect that they are taught to do so and it makes me sad that we in the U.S. feel the need to teach our children not to engage with strangers.

In addition to those in my neighborhood, I am enjoying getting to know other Ticos – many of whom work for me in some way. I love interactions with my builders and if Isaac is here, we laugh a lot. Sometimes I am a little unsure about what we are laughing about.

The daily comings and goings of Cesar, Isaac and Oscar are comforting. Often they drive in early and all climb into the back of Cesar’s truck where they eat whatever they’ve brought along and talk. It seems that it is almost like meeting up with buddies at a restaurant – except it is in the back of a truck.

They laugh and talk and finally pile out at some specific time and get to work. Cesar always carries with him the papers that we have talked over as well as receipts and notes. When I have a question we sit on the porch with paper and two pens – to draw or to change the plan or to discuss some new idea for the building.

It is a real pleasure to work this way. Trained in architecture, I am eager to hear Cesar’s ideas and think about what he is considering! Yesterday he came to me with a problem. He explained – all in Spanish and using his hands – that the edge of the overhang for the roof is going to hit two big trees.

I looked up and could almost see what he meant but needed to see it closer. Because of the loose dirt I need help, still in getting up to the site. Cesar and Oscar helped me up and I got there intact. (Cannot wait for steps)

The trees were intertwined and quite tall. I asked about cutting them back some and allowing them to live, which seemed less drastic. Cesar believed that it would kill the trees. I wasn’t sure.

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In the end, I decided to save the trees and cut back the overhang around the trees. Cesar’s concern was about what would happen if, many years from now, the trees fell. I said that if they fell on the cabinas the people would be safe because of the strength of the steel framework he built. He smiled and agreed. So, we agreed. Save the trees. Cut back the overhang.

In town I love to visit Ana, my attorney when I need something legal – like a Personeria Juridica. The document, complete with its five stamped stamps and signatures is proof of my corporation, Acuarela de Corazon (Watercolor of Heart) that I need when I go to get a cell phone or bank account or any other government controlled item.

Always Ana greets me warmly with a hug. She has become a friend. I’ll never forget when she sent me off to Panama with Estevan and said that she would be taking the trip with me. She did! She called Estevan’s cell phone at least 5 times during the trip and then talked with a recalcitrant and rude Consul at the Costa Rican consulate to get my residency moving!

After we left the consul’s office she pleaded for me to come right home! I laughed and told her we would spend the night and come home the next day. She then said to come right to her office. I did. And she welcomed me like a sister and explained that she worries when I am away. What?

The last time I saw Ana she reminded me that when I start classes she wants to be one of my students. I must get to this one of these days! My accountant, Jeimy also wants to be part of the class!

And this brings me to my favorite Tico story – which illustrates both their humor and philosophy.

One day I was talking with Cesar about the radical idea of putting screens on the cabina windows. I said that the windows needed screens to keep out mosquitoes. Cesar replied in Spanish, “but Jan, there are no mosquitoes here.”

He went on to explain that the cabinas are so high and it is too cool for mosquitoes. I said that there was at least one mosquito that I have encountered in my house and that it only takes one mosquito to ruin an entire night’s sleep. All of this was in my Spanish and he looked a bit puzzled.

So I illustrated my discourse with my hands, demonstrating a mosquito next to my ear and a loud “bzzzzz” sound. He laughed and agreed. And then he stopped and said, “Jan, the next time a mosquito bothers you, first – you catch him.”

He demonstrated the process of nabbing a mosquito in the air with his hand. He went on with his hand still closed around the imagined captive. “Then you wait.” He paused. “You wait for him to go to sleep.” Another pause and he brought his closed hand containing the ‘sleeping mosquito’ up close to his mouth.

Then he made a very loud “bzzzz” sound next to his imagined sleeping victim. I laughed so hard and am still laughing when I think about it, which is often. Typical Tico non-violent strategy. Me? I am American and I think of how to kill it! Ticos think of how to teach a lesson.

We could learn a lot from these peaceful people.

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Written by Jan Hart who is an internationally recognized watercolor artist, teacher and writer who moved to San Isidro de General from northern New Mexico, USA. At age 66, she still plans to teach, paint and write but is hoping to slow her pace in order to enjoy the incredible colors she finds all around her. For more information about Jan’s watercolor workshops and classes please email here at jan@janhart.com

Keep your eyes open for Jan Hart’s brand new EBook on Retirement To Costa Rica which should be available right here on WeLoveCostaRica.com by the end of January 2010.

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