If you’re asking yourself these questions, perhaps you haven’t figured out why you’re here-in Costa Rica and in life itself.

Identifying  the meaning of life is very important to our happiness and well-being.. But for many, it’s not so easy to figure out because it’s not very clear what we mean by “meaning”.

Imagine a first-time tourist in Costa Rica. Touring the  world alphabetically. When “C” turns up, he travels to Costa Rica. “That sounds as good as any other ‘C’ country.” he thinks. He has no other purpose than checking off a “C” from his list. There’s nothing in particular that he wants to see or experience in CR other than to be able to say he’s “been to a country beginning with the letter ‘C’.” So he spends his time in the hotel, watching TV. True, this is an unlikely situation, but it helps to make my point: how meaningful would such a trip be for you?

Would such a visitor experience the best, most distinctive, most memorable features of CR? How much would be missed or ignored? Would the visit feel like time well spent, feel meaningful beyond the checklist? Or more like an empty exercise?

Yes, it may be meaning for him to eventually be in the Guinness Book of Records as someone who traveled the world alphabetically, making him someone unique and special. But how meaningful was his ACTUAL visit?
Now consider a first time tourist who comes to CR with specific objectives: enjoying CR’s tropical beauty, seeing an active volcano and stunning birdlife, zip-lining, and taking surfing lessons, and so on.

Which TRIP is likely to feel meaningful to you?

I believe that the purposeful tourist will feel that her visit has direction, coherence, meaning and was well-worth all the expense and effort because many important goals were met, many new experiences had.

Our lives as well as the time spent  Costa Rica also need a sense of purpose and meaning. Otherwise, we might be asking “Is this all there is? WHY am I here?”

Now the judgement as to which trip had more meaning is completely up to the 2 tourists described. But I think you see my point: a life with purpose feels more satisfying than one without.

Like all tourists, we are all temporary visitors on this planet and in this life. And we must all make choices about how we spend these precious few years here, how we spend the limited, non- renewable resources called time and life. At the end of our “visit”, we want to feel that our life was well-spent and not wasted. We all want to feel that our lives had some value, significance, some meaning beyond survival-as important as survival is. What have we survived for?

The fourth of the five P.E.R.M.A. happiness guidelines (Positive emotions,Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment), meaning is less intuitive than the others.
So what DO we mean by “meaning”?

Think of the “meaning” of the word “water”. The 5 letters  of “water” refer to something beyond themselves. We cannot drink, irrigate, wash or do all the other things that we daily do with H2O with the letters “w a t e r”. Those letters “talk about”, refer to, and are a way of easily communicating about the actual substance: water.

Similarly, the “meaning” of our lives is the “something” beyond our existence that our lives point to. And what exactly is that “something” of your CR life and your life as a whole? Does your life point to some larger reality or purpose? Or is your life focused solely on the “C” word, checking off one more day?

Certainly a life that meets our needs and gives comfort can feel satisfying. But it’s often the very type of life that leaves many of us asking, “Is that all there is?” Many want more than needs met and comfort. Many want to feel that there is a REASON for their existence, a purpose, a meaning.

Recall the great sense of meaning that you felt as you pursued your CR dream-living here in retirement or early enough for your children to enjoy the experience, too. Recall those thrilling days of yesteryear-excitedly planning and working toward the CR dream. Frustrations, setbacks, and sacrifices were faced and overcome because we looked beyond those problems to the greater good of life in CR. Our goal gave us energy, direction, excitement, persistence, meaning.

We felt fully alive because our efforts had a greater meaning than merely getting through another day. Our days felt precious because there was so many important things to do, rather than being simply a time to endure.

Sadly for some of us, that exhilarating sense of being fully alive in our meaning and purpose was lost once our CR dream was realized. “Yeah, the place is gorgeous, the sunsets sublime, and the weather is so much better than back in Detroit. BUT WHAT NOW?  What do I DO with my time here?  WHY am I here?”

Does your life here feel something like Lady Dedlock’s life in Dickens “Bleak House”: “I’m bored with this place. I’m bored with my life. I’m bored with myself.” ??

A very predictable feeling because she had no meaning and purpose beyond being the trophy wife of the much older Sir Leicester Dedlock. She had no activities, interests, goals or meaning. Just inescapable guilt about her secret past.

Does your CR life ever feel that empty?

I recently spent a few hours with a person who lived fully, who enjoyed an astonishing sense of life’s meaning.

No “Lady Dedlock”, this FIVE year old had a remarkable talent for getting the most out of our time together.

Returning from a successful Panama shopping trip with my wife, our smooth running car suddenly died and refused to re-start. In a shadeless spot along the 18 wheeler filled highway, during the hottest part of the day, I fruitlessly tried to get the car running again. It seemed like nothing and nobody was around our God-forsaken location.

Then my wife, Kay, noticed a lone, tiny house down in a gully below the road, almost hidden by trees. I gave it a try and found a wonderfully helpful man, Alexi, working on his own car-in the shade. He generously spent a couple hours in that blistering sun trying to get our car going. His diagnosis: the engine was not getting fuel from the half-full tank.

Since he didn’t know the phone number of the local mechanic, Alexi drove his car to seek help for us. While he was gone, his extraordinary daughter, Antsiri, persistently peppered us with questions. And since my Spanish is poor, but getting better (one of my purposes), I was able to answer very few of her many, many inquiries.

Ever creative and determined, the super-cute, super-smart Antsiri began to bring out her toys: her ball, purse, scooter, and drum. Tired after a long trip and the frustrating breakdown, I didn’t really want to answer questions or play, but with her father doing so much for us, and her mother, Sylvia, offering us shelter, food and water, HOW could I ignore this remarkable child?

As it turned out, to ignore her would have been my loss. I’ve been thinking about her ever since.

Given her family’s extraordinary generosity, I owed her some sincere response. After we taught her to play her drum with her fingertips, and then some twigs and not just her fists, she collected a box of ROCKS!! from their driveway. She first just lined up the rocks on a shelf. Then  I challenged her to arrange them by various categories: size, color, texture, type. She immediately got the idea and rose to my challenges.

When the tow truck arrived to haul our car to the nearby town, Antsiri stood sadly watching us leave. Probably realizing we’d never see each other again. She was once again without new playmates.

The whole family, living in a 3 room wooden house that would be regarded as a shack in North America, gave us a great gift: shelter, help, and hope.

But Antsiri herself was the greatest gift and experience of that day. She was FULLY engaged in her life and purpose: make the most of these unexpected visitors. There was NO self-pity about their hard lives in any of this family.

This child reminded me of the necessity of engagement and meaning. Her energy, smiles, giggles, persistence, and intelligence are unforgettable. It was sad to think I may never see her again. We left them some money as a thank you.

You might object, “Hey! Wait a minute. As bright and engaging as Antsiri is, she still just a 5 year old kid. How could she possibly capable of finding a meaning beyond just fun and play?”

And I’d reply that your objection makes sense. UNTIL you recall the many, many questions and her waiting for more challenging rock puzzles. Sure, she was playing  for fun. But I would add the fun SEEMED to have the greater purpose of deeply wanting to grow and learn. She may find her isolated conditions limiting and boring and, so, her purpose is to grow beyond them.

Not all meaning comes from great purposes beyond oneself like the planet and environment, fairness, religion, or family. It can also come from activities that go beyond themselves to meet deeper needs such as learning and growth. And while she might not be able to express it (and with my limited Spanish, I might not be able to hear it said if she could), I’m convinced that she got more out of play than just fun.

This child played so wholeheartedly, so fully engaged that I believe she wouldn’t feel “Is this all there is?”  She aimed for more, for something beyond immediate gratification.

The mechanic in Palmar Norte confirmed Alexi’s diagnosis: a broken fuel pump wire.

And, from the mouths of babes, Antsiri demonstrated the necessity and value of living a life full of meaning. How would your life in CR feel if you lived as fully here, as meaningfully as Antsiri?

Let’s visit Antsiri again in the next column. She has much more to give this topic of Meaning.

Any thoughts so far? If so, write me at

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Written by Tony Johnson is a retired university mental health center psychologist. He has lived, learned and enlarged his happiness in the Costa Ballena for over three years. He has the curiosity of a coati about all things life! These articles are his best shot at answering those “Life Questions”. Hopefully, you will find them informative and useful.

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