My wife had sleepless nights for three weeks after reading blogs about renewing our CR drivers’ licenses. Friends gave conflicting and erroneous advice on the requisite mountains of triplicate copies of every type of document known to man.

Sometimes, the fear of the bureaucracy far exceeds the reality. ‘We have nothing to fear except fear itself.’

There were dire tales of evil little Hitlers deliberately using the most arcane Spanish, of refusals, weeks of delay and ultimate failure. We Brits needed new licenses here to rent a car in NY in the near future.

Here is how it works for those in our area:

1. Drive to San Ramon and proceed straight through the town to the final T junction.
2. Turn right and run over anyone trying to divert you. (Be sure to wipe the blood off the car.)
3. Avoid the blandishments of people trying to get you to park too early, to see their brother, the doctor. That is unless they wear fishnet stockings and have kinky boots. Sadly, there were none of that sort on this visit. Stop at the last doctor, right at the very end.



4. See the doctor, who charges 18,000 Colones and gives a basic and rapid medical in about 5 minutes. His room was so small that we had to step outside the door to be able to see the whole eye test chart.Even the smallest characters are easy to read from only two feet away. He asks if you want to be an organ donor. The answer is ‘Si perro no hoy.’ (If you just reply ‘Si’, you are passed into a back room, to be slaughtered; stripped of organs and end up in an empanada.) He sends his report by email to the license center. ‘Watch this gringo. He is a tricky one and threatened me with a cut throat razor.’
5. Walk down towards the license center, about 20 yards, but stop on the right to pay 6,000 Colones to a man sitting in his garage next to a couple of motorbikes. Maybe he is not part of the process, but he seems very pleased to collect the money. Maybe he splits it with the officials?
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6. Go to the office across the street, to be greeted by a man with a revolver, but at least he smiles.( Maybe pressing a knife to his throat helped.)
7. See the Jefe, who is chatty and friendly. He photocopied our cedulas and previous licenses, then stamped and signed the medical and payment documents. He also added our cedula numbers. Our previous licenses had only our passport numbers on them. No need for the passports, birth certificates, medical records or cards, etc etc that we had taken in triplicate copies on a large trolley managed by two native bearers.
8. The final part of the process is to have a photo taken in another room and to be given the license. Contrary to received wisdom, the picture took ten years off our ages to the extent that we likely received the photos of others.

All the participants spoke to us in a Spanish that even I could follow, but also spoke English. I think that my disarming, ‘Mi esposa habla mucho, pero solamente pocito Espanol’, earned me a sympathetic ear and understanding glances..

So, we arrived at 11am on a Monday and were done by 12noon. There were no queues at all, anywhere and we were wheeled straight through each process. (Perhaps going dressed as a Roman Catholic Cardinal had something to do with it?)

We were so happy that we indulged ourselves with a huge roast chicken and a mountain of fries in a dive called Dom Pedro’s Pollo in Sarchi. The inflated buttocks of the waitress, each with a life of its own, reinforced how bad this is likely to be for one’s well being.

So next time I want to donate money to a bloated and unnecessary bureaucracy, Costa Rica will definitely be first on my list.

Written by VIP Member Chris Clarke who is a retired economist, consultant and investment banker.. Chris and his wife, Ivy are British who have lived and worked in Europe, Asia and the US. They have been fortunate in travelling extensively on the corporate dollar. When Chris retired from his role as President and CEO of a global executive search firm in December 2010, he and Ivy had already considered their retirement options. Chris wanted a haven to write novels and they both ended up retiring in Costa Rica.

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Andrew Makarik

to@welovecostarica.com

Andrew Makarik is the main editor of WeLoveCostaRica, a fan of this sunny country. He is also a loving husband and a has a lovely daughter. By being a devoted family man and the biggest Costa Rica fan, he wants to make more people feel at home there. WeLoveCostaRica unites people and helps them find new home or a new travel destination. This website is a friendly community where everyone can find not only information, but also new friends and travel pals. Andrew is also passionate about IT and programming, so he himself maintains a friendly atmosphere in this cozy environment of WeLoveCostaRica.com.