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Whoaa – I did not write the perfect post!!! I an going to lose sleep tonight. Look who is getting their post picked apart now…. I’m really in a huff now.
Well I could speak specifically, that is not generalizing, but I would have to write a book about it.
Sorry guys and girls – don’t have that much time for Scotts forum – and the money he pays me to write this stuff couldn’t buy a plate of Gallo pinto.
Also – what is a friendship?
To most women a friendship seems to be a more casual thing.
Guys tend to look at friendship as more than gabbing on the phone etc etc. Guys see friendship as lasting and do not enter into them quickly.
My personal experience from being on the planet is that women are quick to enter into friendships with women and equally quick to get out of them. And guys are slow to enter into friendship with other men and slower to relinquish them.
I have a ton of casual Tico friends –
But as we are lucky to have a more than two handfuls of true friends during a lifetime – I wonder exactly what you all mean by friendship.
So before we go off on a tangent about all the wonderful friends we have through out the world blah blah blah – maybe we should define the difference between a deep friendship and a casual friendship – Ticos are experts at casual friendships and I mean experts – it is part of their charm. Not so good at deep ones.
Jo – Ticos paying the bill at a restaurant – You have to be kidding – is there anybody else out there who is laughing as hard as me – how much experience do you have in CR – Are you Godmother to half the nation? My idea of a Tico paying the tab is when they invite you for a beer and then after they invite you, they say “well I will pay for mine” That’s about as close as it gets… (generally speaking of course) I guess I will have to use that last qualification as a disclaimer on all my posts.
Diego, Woman have historically and evolutionarily carried on very profound friendships–Those are the people we count on in in times of need, shed our tears with and the ones we love to share our laughter and our complicity with too. Not that there isn’t a fair share of what you may term “cattiness” among women (that’s a whole other topic), but our friends are incredibly valuable to us. We’re good at creating and promoting relationships because it actually meant our survival and the survival of our children. I do not pretend to fully understand the friendship men share because I am not a man, but I can tell you that I also have wonderful male friendships and considering my Tico/a friendships are from 12-25 years old, I think that would qualify them as more than a “casual thing.” You pose a wonderful question, what is friendship? Well Diego, it’s what you and another person make of it and you can usually tell who your true friends are when times get rough–it’s at those times that your true friends come thru and find ways to bring peace and even joy into your life even if just by being there for you. I have been blessed with good friends in the US, CR and New Zeland. I make it a point to take good care of them and not take them for granted. The initial chemistry and fondness between acquaintances will wear off quickly if you do not tend to that relationship in CR or anywhere else–no big mystery there. The desire to create friendships is universally human and necessary for our well being. Please consider that you usually find what you’re expecting to find–ever hear of ‘seek and ye shall find’…? So there’s another good reason to be optimistic. I think Aaronbz will find what he’s open to and willing to see in others without forcing anything or creating a false expectation…Aaronbz will meet people in CR and time will tell if he has made any friends….I hope he allows himself this gift….
“I make it a point to take good care of them and not take them for granted.” Well put Ms. Aragon –
The initial chemistry and fondness between acquaintances will wear off quickly if you do not tend to that relationship in CR or anywhere else–no big mystery there.
The initial fondness seems to be an art Ticos have refined – would you not say?
I try not to expect… Everheard of “if you are only in search of Silver, you never see the Gold all around you.”? That is my quote so I doubt you have heard it. I like it though. Expectations can be hard on ourselves and others. Like your expectations of me…
are you all CRAZY???
Ok, I have to chime in because as some of you know I am a mixer upper.
Also I have to do this under cover because my wife does not like me checking on this site. Since my wife is a Tica and all of her family live in Costa Rica I might have a valid opinion.The last couple of weeks I have been in Paraguay because we are moving here for my employer Uncle Sam. I would have to say either all of you are looking thru coke bottles or you are smoking the funny stuff.
Ticos are no different than any gringos that have come to live in their country. The only difference is they are not gringos, (how ever there are some cultural differences that are more related to the Latin culture and not just Costa Rica) As I read these post I have to feel its like you all are looking at the Ticos as some kind of specimen and studying them as a social project or something. Too many Ticos, this is kind of offensive and I believe that many gringos believe they are some what superior because they come from the U.S. and believe their culture is more special or something.
I have to laugh when I see many of these posts because it makes me think of how the Northerners think about the Southerners in the U.S. or like how the east cost thinks about the west cost. Like the sentence of “I make it a point to take good care of them and not take them for granted.” Do you really think they need you to take good care of them??? Do you think they can take care of themselves? I know that this is good hearted but really If a Minnesotan said those poor people from Mississippi they need to be taken care of, what do you think that would be considered?
As for the check not being paid at the table I can really say there are a lot of east cost people that have stuck me with the dinner bill.
Do you read whole posts or just parts Scottbenson? I was talking about taking care of my friends not Ticos! Don’t you? If you don’t, I can’t imagine you would have any friends as ALL relationships take work. I take no offense when my friends also take good care of me and don’t take me for granted–no matter where they happen to live or have been born in….The part of my post you’re referring to is here:
“I have been blessed with good friends in the US, CR and New Zeland. I make it a point to take good care of them and not take them for granted.”
So if you’re going to criticize, at least do it after having understood the post…My sister married a Tico, my nieces are Ticas, I’ve lived in that country for many years (since 1982), but that doesn’t invalidate other peoples’ experiences with Ticos/as that they have shared on this thread–even when different from my own. To observe someone patronize any group is upsetting and I can understand your disdain, but I suggest you have just done the same thing here sir…
Aaronbz, You’re welcome. It was fun looking at some of those sayings again and I’m glad they can be of some help–Best of luck on your trip. Pura Vida!
It is always fun to talk about the differences between cultures. The bottom line, though, is that people are pretty much the same everywhere when you get down to the brass tacks of what it takes to form and maintain relationships. The world has been shrinking at an ever increasing pace throwing people from disparate cultures together more frequently and war and conflict don’t seem to be more prevalent because of it. I have lived with the Cubans here in Miami for 25 years now and honestly can’t see a lick of difference that matters between them and the Ticos I have met recently. Their language ties their cultures closer to each other than to ours, but we all still get along. I don’t see any problem here. Do any of you?
Regards picking up the check; so far, my Tico acquaintances have always done so and have not let me. I guess it all depends on with WHICH Ticos you hang.Whoa Scott – looks like the sheriif set you straight. “Don’t you make that mistake again young man or I will whack your ….” You fill in the blanks – You are a real charmer Beca!!! Bet you are just loads of fun on a date too. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck – it is a duck!!!
I bet you like Barnie or watching Mr. Rodgers, or maybe you were a flower child from the past.
Yes, I have read your post in entirety but if you really think that your friends need you to take care of them, this could be taken in a condescending way. Personally I don’t need my friends to take care of me they are just that amigos.
Like I said maybe if you were from the west cost I can under stand why you are so touch feely kind of a person. This is why many cultures have problems with other cultures trying to come and live. Look at the British Empire and Africa or many other cultures that thought they were superior to others.
Dear Alfred: It has been an honor and a pleasure to read your posts and I hope you will continue to enjoy yourself with such dignity and humor—keep reading because people’s minds are infinitely complicated, amazing and it’s fun to explore thoughts other than our own. I’m starting my Midterms, papers are due and it’s crunch time– so I will not have much time to participate in the forum. Life has given me a wonderful opportunity and I want to honor it. Who knows, if you ever see a petite lady with shoulder length brown hair and big brown eyes bird and alligator watching in Caño Negro, surfing [maybe not well, but apparently for the pleasure it provides her :)] during the day near Tamarindo or hoping to see Baulas at Playa Grande under a full Guanacaste moon, soaking in the hot springs of Tabacon in Arenal, riding horses and strolling among cattle in San Carlos, participating in lectures at CR universities, looking for Pelamis at Manuel Antonio’s first beach, eating an early breakfast in Pavones on her way to explore a bit more of Golfo Dulce or enjoying herself as she views pairs of Lapas in the Carate skies or the footprints of Jaguars on its beach on her way to Corcovado, laughing and enjoying a leisurely lunch with some Bribri people by the Sixaola River, dancing at Maritza’s or Johnny’s [certainly not as gracefully as most Ticos/as, but the locals are gracious and don’t complain—instead everyone seems to be having a good time :)] or enjoying the most delicious chocolate cake aptly named Queen of Sheba at Bread & Chocolate after having been woken by Congos in Puerto Viejo, enjoying a scrumptious Italian meal at Ilario’s amazing Pecora Negra or the best Caribbean lobster meal you can imagine at Maxi’s in Manazanillo (Gosh, I love CR!) and you happen to hear one of her friends call her Rebe—don’t hesitate to come and introduce yourself you would enjoy meeting some of my Costa Rican friends.
To Diego: If you happen to see the same petite lady—I hope to see someone smiling also puts a smile on your face, but please try to refrain from introducing yourself. I know you don’t practice this much, but trust me, you can do this unless you happen suffer from some brain lesion that I’m not aware of. I don’t travel alone and my friends whether they are Ticos/as or from another country don’t easily stand for rudeness. As one of my Tico friends who is a Forrestal Engineer said when he saw your posts (no paraphrasing on my part needed), “tell that guy to go to a bar in Liberia, the halls of academia at UCR or the easy going town of Puerto Viejo and express himself the way he’s done in those posts about Ticos—the retort he receives may be expressed with different Spanish words, but the delivery of the sentiment will be the same.” I don’t choose to be clever to manipulate you or anyone else. I find it much more respectful to share views and expect others to make up their own minds and I also mull over ideas others present (including yours) without indiscriminately discarding them by just choosing to label that person—I don’t treat my dialogues as political campaigns or contests to see who can scream the loudest—even if Cubans can certainly scream when necessary. You may also want to consider why this little and, according to your own estimates, “not so clever” girl managed to make friends during the first month of her first visit to CR in 1982 that have accompanied her for over 25 years (and has also been able to make other friends along the way) and according to your own posts, you have only managed to be blessed with superficial acquaintances after 20 years of visiting/living in CR…I don’t pretend this to be a “last word” for you or anyone as we all have the last word for ourselves before exhaling our last breath and reviewing the choices we’ve made along the way. I do hope that after your ranting is over, you may actually consider why many people, not just me, have made true friends with and even married people who happen to come from many different places and from different cultures. We are all gregarious/social creatures–people are people and enjoy dealing with those that show us respect, know how to have fun without it being at your expense and behave with dignity…I still hold out hope for you—too bad I may not get to see it…but I do hope you get past the minor ego bruising you may have felt from my words and go for it—Look for the best in others and you just may find it–no need to view Mr. Rogers to know this…Life is really too short to be that cantankerous…
Diego, call them machistas, proud people, but yes I have been invited and more than once. I have been coming to CR back and forth for 8 years, and it is not the place here to tell you all my stories, but I have seen more than once the guys paying the bill for inviting me, and also my friends when they were visiting, and that bill would cost him more than half of his wages of the week. Also I went every morning to the only restaurant of the beach for a coffee while I was building . The owner always comes with a Pinto con Huevos, and there is no way she would let me pay.
Of course if from times to times I invite my peones on friday after work, I have to leave after 2 beers or they will drink on me all evening…. For them, 2 beers or 12 beers is the same, meaning they are as happy of being invited…and because of that, they will be willing to work even harder to please me.
They also invite me to a casado at lunch time because they know otherwise I will not have time to eat. It is public knowledge there that I hate to cook. Call it friendship or not, I call it family……pueblo…I am not insecure to be taken advantage of, opposite, I always tell them I am the one to abuse, and they just smile and say: Nunca dejes aprobecharse pues para nosotros es un placer !!!
Maybe we just did not meet the same people !!!
Hasta Luego
JoAwwww – does this mean I don’t get a date???
Or are you just taking your Mojito and going home? Cantakerous – I am crushed!!!!
Ego bruise, well after that long rant of how satisfied you are with yourself, I have no need to name the party with the brusied ego – I am going to miss you Aragon – said with all the sinceity of a Del Rey girl talking to her boyfriend on the phone at in the 2 morning. Lets hope those finals are perpetual – Toodles –
PS How is it that you know so much about the Del Ray?????
Jo – you are right – it all does depend on the situation and the people. As a matter of fact all life is sight specific, however we can only reflect upon our individual experiences and there is always the exception to the rules.
You sound like you know how to treat the locals – I like that – good luck
Unless you are posting here something totally relevant to “Getting along well with the Ticos” THIS THREAD IS NOW CLOSED.
Unless you are posting here something totally relevant to “Getting along well with the Ticos” THIS THREAD IS NOW CLOSED.
Unless you are posting here something totally relevant to “Getting along well with the Ticos” THIS THREAD IS NOW CLOSED.
Scott Oliver – Founder
WeLoveCostaRica.com
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