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I repeat, it depends upon expectations. Divorcing solely over a sexual infidelity would mean that sex carries more significance than anything else. People who marry with sex as the chief attraction usually end up disappointed and divorced anyway. The same holds true for people who marry strictly for material wealth, either as giver or taker.
In fact, I would go further and say that anyone who puts emphasis on sex or money is only looking for short term, shallow relationships. For some, I suppose that is more than enough but they have no business marrying. Marriage should be reserved for a more mature set of expectations.
Now for some generalizations prefaced by the fact that I am a gringo married to a latina for 28 years: most latinos are very immature in this arena, the men especially. The traditional latin culture raises females to be either lovers or mothers but not necessarily equal partners (wives). This is to accommodate latin men who seek sexual gratification and servitude from women. (No wonder gringos are attracted to latinas). Marriage is the tool by which women of both cultures seek to level the playing field. Marriage ties material wealth of the husband to the wife in most cases.
So if you seek a tranquil life by entering a marriage in either culture, it had better be for reasons other than sex and/or money…and that has to be mutual. Otherwise, give up the tranquil life and enjoy the roller coaster ride of emotional ups and downs. Perhaps Don Diego likes roller coasters…..
[quote=Now I ask, what woman would divorce me over my superfluous yet discrete indiscretions??[/quote]
hahaha the real question is what kind of liberated woman would marry a guy like you? oh, yeah, i forgot, women aren’t supposed to be liberated a la hillary clinton who wears pants and isn’t likely wearing a thong or a sexy push-up bra, or spike high heels with a little french maid’s apron and nothing else. you crack me up, diego. where have you been all these months?
On guard my little likeable one, but fist I must deal with messier Sprite.
Sprite, the education begins…
You mean it depends upon unrealistic expectations that relive one of the minor necessities in life such as the joy of living. They may end up divorced but they do not end up disappointed. Who wants to have some shared equal marriage anyways? Powerful women do not want to be equal to their subservient men. Just ask Edward ‘s wife? And who wouldn’t want a feminine woman after putting up with Lizzy? I’d rather walk on my lips over molten lava than cozy up to that ice berg. And I bet Hilary doesn’t wear a thong, but I am sure it’s mandatory that her girlfriend does.
Face it, in the states if you are a man without means over 40 you are on the out. Even if you are fit and handsome, women are looking for the bread (and I don’t mean pumpernickel). Sprite you illustrate my point. It’s the mundane world that I loathe. Why do you think I am in Latin countries? Like you, to spread around progressive joys of the unnatural values found in US living? Redistribution of wealth? Women wearing the pants? Come on, the question is why are you in Costa Rica? To further poison the macho culture? To profess more of the mutinous, mundane, monogamous, monotonous life that bores the crap out of people (although they won’t admit it). Burn bright, burn fast, burn hot and then burn out. Costa Rica is for living – try it sometimes, you might like it.
Yeah I’ve done put up with the wifey crap for about 15 minutes. That was long enough to know that I didn’t want a level “playing field.” Mature is not the word I would use when it comes to marriage these days. It’s more like neutered. So tell me young ladies what do you want, a gelding or a stallion? Oh, you want a gelding that you can parade around but functions like a stallion. Sorry ladies, it doesn’t work that way. We know you want it all, but the biologically impossible? Well take that up with God and the next NOW meeting. Maybe you can have Gloria Albright represent you to HIM. Or is God now no longer a man? What equates marriage with the profound anyways? Most of the time people marry because they are shallow and want nothing to do with rejection, challenge, and risk. If mature means monotonous than I agree with Sprite.
Latinos are immature in this area? Latinos like to live. Gringos are weak in this area and that is why Latinas favor the gringo gelding for the barn. Aw but in the field it’s the other way around my friend.
If women need to give up being equal partners to be lovers and mothers then I say give it up. What could be more important than being a mother? And a lover? That is what you remember when you head is on the pillow at night, not what year and model car you drive and how your wife laid out your clothes in the morning (that are color coordinated with hers – except you get the Dockers and she wears the leather). You want me to trade my virility and material wealth to my wife, and what does she give to me, a short leash? That’s the gringo deal my friend. I have my family and my way. If not, it’s the highway/autopista. I did not create this fortune to be ordered around by my princess in my own Castillo, my friend. Are you crazy? Grow a pair.
Have you tried the Cuban Slide. Now that’s a rollercoaster. And yes I prefer up and down to limping around (all possible puns intended).
Marvy – my prendita, I have been in the land of cigars, music, song, liquor and laughter hanging out with the Ricardo’s at Casa de la Musica and the Marina Hemingway living on the Stormtrooper. She’s my Sea Ray Sundancer motor yacht. With her, I need no other. She requires moneys, like all of them do, but she brings me treasure – She, unlike the others, allows me to author my dream. You will be the hero of your own life – so make it a good one. Drudge, another mojito, and one for my horse too, The Malecon has never looked so inviting. And do pray tell me why in the world would you dare to even consider that I would want a liberated woman. If I wanted that, well I might as well get the real thing, a gay man. I don’t need to be hot-walked (track term for those who don’t know the equestrian life). I threw off the bridle and lead the moment I exited the womb. So Marvy my sweet one, are you happy to see me or did you spill a Mojito on your lap? Love em and hate em ehh? I know how you feel.
oh, diego, mi amor, your are really something else. you’re the guy we women love to hate, and hate to love. sigh.
Ah I see you remember how, knowing you, you probably never forgot (girls take notes)? Very good, and I will administer that with several grains of salt found on the next margarita. Left you speechless mi amour? pero no-no-no. Tell me, nenita, what do you fancy mi vida, pearlas or diamantes? I shall send my valets to the ends of the earth to find you the finest jewels. After all it is dia de los enamourados …
Welcome back Don Diego. I still get a good laugh out of your story of the old and young bull…
My golf buddies really enjoyed it. lol.
Thank you Lotus…
Are you married? Or are you happy? – Groucho Marx
Try that one out on the golf buddies.
Yeah I tried to find my old posts just to pleasure myself (man you girls have dirty minds), but to no avail. I guess they are lost. I posted a lot and tangled quite a bit with David and that goofy Cuban(?) chick.
Was that you that called me nastier than a sidewinder? What a compliment. Scott got pissed at me for passing the line as I always do, so I thought I would give him a break. I think he has finally come to the conclusion that women have enough advantages these days and one no longer need to defend their now almost non-existent honor.
Yeah I still call a spade a spade. Something wrong with that or do I lack political correctness? Oh just the mention of that set up phrase makes me want to drive the porcelin bus. So how is Costa Rica these days? Last time I was there was to cash a check.
Been living in Cuba, want to enjoy it before Fedelito kicks the bucket. Man is the living good here. Reminds me of the good old Clinton days. Got a watermelon red metalic 57 Chevy 4 door hardtop (the model with the optional modelas and without the post between the doors. Better to load the chicks in and out. I am working on restoring a 58 HD police special. Suicide clutch and no front brakes. It a basket case now, but Pepe (the drudge) is on it. Should be done for May and the Playa Este runs.
Bought the boat early last year and just livin large my man. Got a kick out of the new persidential elections so I thought I would just check in with my favorite fourm and just toss in my dos centuevos. A chick president, it’s just so damn cute you know? Think of the possibilities. Do you remeber what Jack Nicholson said about a woman president in the movie A Few Good Men?
Probally get admonished again for being a bad boy… Funny evertime that happens, here comes a new opportunity. Quick to hire, quicker to fire. Drudge, bring me some of that $2 a pound lobster BBQed with lime and butter. Cubans use lime for everything, even herpies. Aw but I wouldn’t know about that (pass the valtex please).
That is one of the great things about Cuba, no matter if its lomo, carne res, pollo or langosta, except for the women, Crystal, Buckenero and the Havana Club, it’s all $2 a pound!
Ok, back to my womanizing ways… You know Cuba is the only palce I can have my driver pull up on the sand kick open all four doors, blast the stereo and open the trunk/bar and have at least a half of dozen chicks in thongs salsa dancing or doing the tremblece around me in a matter of minutes. If I actually have to walk the beach to find a girl, the days been a disaster… One of my buddies brings my knock off parts for my 57 just for access to the marina and my blow by… Yea, I know everybody hates me, well almost everybody… I just want you all to know that I am a firm supporter on the Cuban Ballet.
Don Diego, you are amusing if nothing else, proving my point; latin immaturity creates a high level of drama and who doesn’t like a good show? I love Costa Rica AND Cuba. (I would visit the latter again as I used to do if it weren’t so problematic)
Here is another gross generalization for which I have NO stats to back me up, only personal anecdotal evidence; Marriages between a latin male and an American female are more challenging and many more fail than marriages between an American male and a latin female.
A marriage between a latin male and an american female present the worst of both worlds; an immature, irresponsible male paired with an intolerant female.
Now, a marriage between a gringo and a Latina seems to offer the best of both worlds; a less childish and more loyal male
paired with a more mature and responsible female.b-b-b-b-bad to the bone! or should i have put an ‘r’ at the end of that.
where did you park your wife and daughter while you are running around playing Papa?
yes, we have a woman president, although some say she is Arias Dos in a skirt. we’ll see how it shakes down.
have a cuba libre for me.
You see if more women had a realistic view of life like Marvy, relationship between men and women would at least be friendly. Now I know you say you trust your spouse, but are you friends with them? Probably not because if you shared your true feelings they would run off to the attorney and you know what then…
Marvy you still married? (not that it matters… Arr arr arr). I shall have drudge pour you an honoary Cube libre )Drudge! pour me one for marvy) and there it shall remain at least until me or one of my drunken soulmates (I can’t beive I just wrote the nauseating chick term) knock it up and over while doing the …. never mind
My co-parent (like that term?) runs our daughter’s house, and is on the payroll and happily so with boyfriends and all (we agree that there will be no insignificant others in our child’s sanctuary). We are great friends and she’s not looking for marriage, I guess that shoots to crap your theory about maturity Sprite (she Latina of course). Funny how that money thing works… I follow the advice of if it floats, flys or f_ _ks – rent it.
But I have no need for validations or the person I sleep with to do my wash, and I have resolved my death and embraced the transient nature of this existence, which by the way has created the freedom one needs to take the risks I have taken which have resulted in the dream life I am living. (that would be my dream life – not yours BTW). In other words, I don’t play it safe. Yes, I have been robbed, beaten, broke, humiliated, abandoned and never used any of it as an excuse to quit or cry. Water of a ducks ass (or was that back). On the other hand I have lived enough life to be able to have the time and experience to write this crap. Well I won’t bore you with the spoils but they are so incredible you couldn’t make em up if you tried.
Sprite .. the education continues
Childish loyal mature responsible.
I take it you are a practicing churcianity.
I have nothing against spiritual – but churches. Are you kidding me? Sprite, you have been conditioned to believe your own stories about, fidelity, childishness, maturity and responsibility.
You probably do not have the inclination to examine your thinking, therefore examine the stories you tell yourself about the above subjects. If you did, you would find that each of the stories you tell yourself about these subjects are based on an assumption somewhere, so you can’t really know if any of them are true. And 99% of them are not. But the suffering you endure by repeating them to yourself is just like your parents warnings ringing conditioning that you never approved of. Being a child you had no choice. As an adult, you have a choice to reexamine your beliefs. However it is your attachment to your stories (that reinforce your beliefs) that make you suffer and keep you in quiet desperation (The attachment to the stories, that is, they are familiar and you like them), not the stories themselves that bind you. Fugly aint it?
Examining your thinking and thoughts allows an open-minded person to redefine their thinking and themselves. However, your spouse, your church and your government (you know the problematic one), does not want you to do this. Why? Because it creates freedom. Yeah, sad but true, they do not want you to be free. But they want you to revel in the illusion of freedom, a lifestyle only the rich in the US live (why do you think CR is popular). Remember the old hippie saying, “Free your mind and your ass will follow”? It’s true. Although Cubans have issues with programming and suffering, they are passionate about living, because they have so much time to live here. Nobody works! There is little money but a lot of time to sing, dance, play and socialize (that that means actually having sex with people – oooh).
So, they are unfaithful, childlike (childish), immature (they dance sing and play a lot of dominoes), and irresponsible because they do not work or pay bills (because they don’t have any!).
So Sprite you can tell yourself all the stories you want about how this idea of responsibility etc etc etc that you have bought into and self reinforced is so true and right, and good and correct. You can work for your government, your spouse and your church. And me? Well I will be down here below the “truth and righteousness” radar living each day to its fullest and I promise you I will be childlike, immature, unfaithful to my government, girlfriend, and church, but true to myself while I party my ass off, read, write, swim, bicycle, and motor around this huge island full of authentic people who don’t define themselves the way you do. You are bound. I am free. You are like a sentry stationed and guarding your hoard. I am like a guerilla fighter, roaming, hitting and running.
Which life do you want – a free one or self-delusional one. Among my friends we call that a “No Sh—ter.
That means it aint something you want to hear – but it’s something you need to hear. You can thank me later or hate me now. Your choice.
How cute! A latino puppy wants to educate this old gringo dog on these matters. The amusement continues. Now, sit tranquilo while I ‘splain you a few things….
Try as you might, you cannot wiggle free from the negative connotations of the term “machista”. Within your culture and some others, it is tolerated, although I get the impression that Ticas are less and less inclined to put up with it as time goes by. One hopes for progress.
I am an atheist. I don’t waste time with fairy tales and I don’t moralize on others’ behavior. I just observe consequences.
Speaking of consequences: being robbed, beaten, broke, humiliated and abandoned are not exactly great arguments in support of your life style. I managed to have my youthful flings without suffering any of those things. The old adage “All things to moderation” comes to mind.
And I do not disparage your behavior at all as long as it harms nobody else but you. However, we part philosophical company as soon as someone is hurt, especially if it is an abandoned mother and child. Otherwise, be as hedonistic as your body and the law will permit. One day, when you are an old, salty dog, you may have matured to the point where you see the pointlessness or your old body will simply not let you continue or your sense of dignity will halt behavior which invites public ridicule.
If none of these things happen, go ahead and continue charging through life, a merry old clown. If it makes you happy, who cares what others think or feel? That is your philosophy right now and it seems to make you happy. But my experience tells me there is always a bill to pay…sooner or later.
Oh BOY! The Forum hasn’t been this much fun for ages! And by the way, the old bull, young bull joke has been a staple in the construction field for (probably) centuries. I STILL tell that joke on jobsites.
I think I’ll kick back and drink a mojito while I keep an eye on this thread. Scott – this is a thread we should all have to pay a few bucks to keep reading!
the only thread better than this one is some of the older threads where diego and i butted heads. ya gotta love that guy, even if ya don’t agree with him. jejeje
Don Diego presents his points in a playful, amusing way. Nobody gets angry and everyone is entertained.
OK Sprite, my Indian name for you will be “One Who Hopes”
You choose to hate me now – I get it and don’y ya worry none. Many a “once a man” better than you cannot dare face his corroding masculinity in the mirror. The thing that upsets them is they have lost the truth in their heart about what a man is supposed to be and how they are supposed to behave. The fact that to be a man means hardship, and the fact that they want to lay with their little puppy brethren nursing at their mommy’s teat, makes them suffer. The idea that you have to earn your place in the brotherhood of man is simply too much for most emasculated males. Sprite are you one of them. Tell me honestly, do you wear Dockers and your chick where’s the leather. Make a leather clothes count and tell me who has the most skin.
Gringo marriages suffer from this. The women thinks it is “cute” (nice manly word) when men (and I use the word looselys, more like eunuchs) are made to hand in their colors (that’s a biker terms for the efems out there).
Pop psychologists will tell you how to behave, what a woman wants (who gives a crap, – I know what they will get), but what they miss is that life should not be a passionless march through the mundane. The negative consequences I have endured were from expending physical, mental and financial risk capital. But dearest One Who Hopes, as you can tell I have enough incredible experiences to write one of these little ditties daily. How thick is your autobiography? The difference among you and me and our doghood is that I am a wise, experienced puppy. You are an old dog with a “where’s the beef” bio.
I have lost a lot. I have not however, lost my belief in God, people or living hard, doing what men do: not taking the easy way.
I know plenty of poor people that have never lost a dime. Whether they are rich in deeds, knowledge or money, I know not one rich person that has not suffered significant loss. How much have you lost OWH?
This thread connects to the “what’s holding you back” thread I just finished reading where someone said it’s a matter of people “not knowing themselves” that holds them back.
Well it’s the same thing about Gringo marriages. Latinos know themselves. They do not buy into the “there is something wrong with men” crap.
Gringos do not want to fulfill their masculinity. To understand what it means to be the provider, leader and family figure head. To be the patron!
This void is nicely filled by the women in their life. So the cat starts teaching the dog how to purr.
Do you think the other cats what to hear a dog purr. Publically they commend him and say how “cute” (eventually the dogs purr the same feminine words). Privately they mock him.
Same with the other dogs. “Hey boys did you hear that dog purring the other day? “yeah I did and he gets to hang out with the others kittys.” He might fit in nicely with the other pussy cats but don’t anyone invite him for cigars and rum in the clubhouse. What a pussy (cat).”
What I love about the Latino cultural, as opposed to the effeminate Gringo culture, is that Friday night is boys night out. Oh we still go home to our wives and family, spoil them with support, but we do not give up our social characteristics, our male values, for a “relationship” with a woman. You know what has replaced boys night out in the US “women’s night out!” Do I need to further make my point?
Brotherhood exists here. In the US, the effeminates have killed it. You are supposed to want to hang out with your woman. What a joke. Sure a romantic date out, etc etc, but going to a soccer match with your woman. Doing guy things with your woman? Give me a break. All you dogs that purr have skewed things and no wonder there is such unrealistic expectation in Gringo marriages.
You have handed over the keys to your masculinity. Each time you cave to the pressure of the little dicktator, you gain a good night’s sleep – but lose respect. That has had an accumulative effect on your brothers and has now allowed the whole society to go gay and feminine. You can’t blame the woman for taking what they can get. You have to blame the “men” for giving up. And you efems have given up. And now you want the Latinos to give it up. Probably so you won’t feel so bad for your next mirror check.
You think my philandering is decadent. You “men” are rotting the foundation of the new Rome. You are decaying the masculinity the makes cultures great. You weaken the fighters. The protectors and the brotherhood that men value so much that they risk their lives for it.
Funny thing is the women don’t really want you to be this way. You know, it’s like chick talk. Say this, mean that.
Yeah yeah chick talk is very cute (there is that effeminate word again), but just like chick talk, what women say they want and what they yearn for (what they want in their hearts, not minds) is completely different.
They want a badass Rottweiler that unleashes the Wildman. Not a sex on demand human vibrator that purrs like a pussy. They want a leader they can be proud of, not someone who runs to mommy when the guys next door intimidates them. Think about it. From a mans point of view do you want a big muscle bound woman to lay in the grass? They want effeminate men about as much as we want masculine women. But men don’t want to pay the price, do what men do. They would rather take the easy way out and cower – like women.
Sprite ol chum. I realize you tried to rally your masculinity on the last post, but although you get Brownie points, it illustrates that your comprehension and then response comes from one who sports the yin genitalia. You don’t make the team, but keep trying. You owe it to your woman… right? (wrong). You owe it to yourself and your kids.
Try developing a brotherhood. Hang out with real men that are risk takers, not that lame bunch who hang out in groups passing the talking stick. Morons. To be a man and command respect of women and their admiration and their lust and love, you have to be brave. That means taking the path of resistance. Sporting the non-pussy genitalia. Once you have this right, renegotiate your soul with the wifey and then you will be free to join a brotherhood. Your only hope as of today will be to limp (all puns intended) along in the sisterhood that is running the effeminate nation you call home “yes dear” home.
BTW I have gotten two private messages that concur with my herculean macho stance. I guess some woman are starting to realize that the new pussyhood of men is bad for their sons, our nations and the frequency and quality of their orgasms. To those women I say you have risen above the self serving and are true patriots – and deserve a ride on Don Diego’s Big Boat!
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