Home › Forums › Costa Rica Living Forum › Gringo marriages / Unrealistic expectations
- This topic has 1 reply, 17 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 8 months ago by DonDiego.
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February 20, 2010 at 3:28 am #198780claytonMember
I want a signed copy of the book. I think its great stuff. Reads like a Harold Robbins novel. Go man, go!
February 20, 2010 at 4:15 am #198781maravillaMemberit would be hard to make this stuff up!!! i can’t help wondering if diego really has a big boat or if it’s just a dinghy!!! jejeje
February 20, 2010 at 1:26 pm #198782jdocopMemberboat, dinghy, whatever. The dude has a big imagination, that’s for sure. Don’t stop now, Jimmy………
February 20, 2010 at 1:42 pm #198783claytonMember[quote=”maravilla”]it would be hard to make this stuff up!!! i can’t help wondering if diego really has a big boat or if it’s just a dinghy!!! jejeje[/quote]
No its more likely he’s blogging from the basement at his mothers house in New Jersey. Still great stuff!
February 20, 2010 at 1:58 pm #198784maravillaMemberno, no, not his mother’s basement in joisey. this guy is too decadent and profligate to be under 50!!
February 20, 2010 at 7:39 pm #198785DonDiegoMemberThe world’s bestselling author? Star on the Hollywood walk of fame? Surely you jest.
We will have to divide into two camps, the torchbearers and the disbelievers.
Dear Don Diego Torchbearers, Although you could never mistake me as a Jew, because of the way they worship their women, as I don’t define myself by my women or my money – I spread them both around equally: nonetheless, I am humbled by the comparison to Harold Robbins.
For the punk Disbelievers: You couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried. Chicas, how many times have I told you to keep the Hawaiian Tropic on my back, not on the computer! One more time and I’ll punt you to Papas (The marina’s nightclub (not for the feint hearted). Yeah I’m grumpy on Saturday mornings. The sleep over’s have left, and the frickin new crew shows up by sneaking through the secret entrance to Playa Santa Fe. Can you believe these little nymphets slip through an opening where the chain link meets the wall (it’s actually cool because you have to be under 125 pounds to fit through) I call it the DD disqualifier) and then swim about 300 yards or so to the Big Boat. So here I am, all used up in my Speedos, and these chicks pop their head out of the water like oversized otters. “Don Diego, Don Diego” Oh my God, by 11 am there is no more deck space. It must be the ham sandwiches and lobster pu pu platters. It could not possibly be for my Zeus like physique and the fact that whoever does the wash gets to pocket the loose bills left in my shorts. I heard I have paid a couple hundred dollars to have a load done! Fwabielve it oh ye Disbelivers. I got to call Jones to clear the deck (he’s my limey biker buddy from London) who has an apartment here. I should charge him for the little burgers all rare and plump in all the right places. Have you ever pushed your finger in a stick of butter after it been out of the refrigerator for 10 minutes. That’s the posterior firmness quality we’re talking. Like I say, you are only as old as the women you feel.
For the record: 42 years old (But I feel much younger (get it), six foot two, brown eyes, 220, x-large, pony tail and all brown, with thick pubic hair. I just had a mole tattooed by my left nipple (in case you have to identify the body).
I have been ridden hard (all possible puns intended (APPI) and put away wet, and intend to die before 60. Can you see ol Don Diego in a side cart with a fat biker chick catapulting him around corners up on two wheels? Fagedaboudit.
Not in the witness protection program…. Yet… Quite remarkable really for an ex-street fighter from the ghetto.
However playing pool with a bunch of feds for a while wouldn’t be so bad. By the time they were done hanging out with me I’d have turned them and we’d be doing an Apocalypse Now thing. I’d be the Cornel Kurtz and they’d be the hanging out in the jungle having their coconut squeezed by the monkeys. Them coconut squeezer will turn ya too.
“propagation of the species” – Sprite please continue the fodder – your raw material is perfect for my artistic/autistic mind. You have all the charm of a Pap smear slide. I can relate to your style – if you were a test tube baby. I have to hand it to you though; no one else seems willing to but head with the double D’s. Are you a Dr Laura podcast junkie or somethin???
I assure you, and the drudge can attest, I have no intention of discontinuing my maladjusted and immature ways. Oh look there’s another little otter comin my way. Drudge, quick, thats Yaney the ballerina chick, call Jonesy and ask him to bring some diamantes azul. Hurry… I have to be in Miramar by 2:00 to fulfill my prima nocta duty. Don Diego de la Longshanks and away….
Dam it drudge ,how may blessed times have I told you not to let em hang their wet thongs on the fricking towel bar. Jeeeeeze. This ain’t a girls locker room you know (or is it?)! I aint got time for a shower – Where’s the Dolce Gabanna crap!!!! (there’s a certain ballerina etiquette you know…). When they have the propert ITC ol Don Diegito jumps through multiple hoops. Fwa bweive it!
So who wants more of this crap. Please chime in, cuz if not I think I’ll give Scott a break. He’s been a good sport and all. I am accustomed to wearing out my welcome, but not in vain. Adulation fix please or I’m ottaher (all possible mistakes intended).
February 20, 2010 at 8:14 pm #198786maravillaMemberoh, diego,(sigh) your missives are a hundred times better and more entertaining (and salacious) than any telenovella, including La Tormenta.
who needs tv when you can turn in to Scott’s Drama Board and read all about Don Diego’s raunchy escapades? you are part gonzo warrior a la hunter thompson and e. howard hunt — a legend in your own time/mind and an endless source of lewd entertainment. the problem with you getting your a#$ kicked off the board is that you disappear for months at a time and we have to sit and wait with baited breath for your return and the next installment of Life in Paradise with Don Diego.
February 20, 2010 at 9:00 pm #198787DonDiegoMemberAhhh. Mi amouuur, a true torchbearer. You bare the tourch for Don Diego, now bare it, yes and bare it agian. Now what do you think mi amour, yet again shall I take you to “that place.” The fuzzy refuge free of the world, the place that only I know. Come, I’ll take you again. If you were only mine to protect. I would never trade you for anoter women. Unless of course in return I could get two….. ooops
February 21, 2010 at 12:49 am #198788maravillaMemberonly 42? you’re too old for me. were i to trade in my italian stallion, i would get me two 30-year-olds. jejeje
February 21, 2010 at 8:13 am #198789waggoner41Member[quote=”DonDiego”]I promise you I will be childlike, immature, unfaithful to my government, girlfriend, and church, but true to myself while I party my ass off, read, write, swim, bicycle, and motor around this huge island full of authentic people[/quote]AUthentically shallow!
This has devolved into a guy against the girls’ discussion but let me express a different opinion from the male side of the equation.
If you gals have been single long enough and spent some time in the bars and night clubs you have seen a few like Diego before in other guises and with different names in the States and possibly in Costa Rica. You remember, the guys at the bar, conspicuously grabbing their crotches every thirty seconds or so and bragging about their masculine accomplishments and how many women they have had?
At age 28 and after the required seven years and I found myself divorced with children involved in the split. I was at loose ends but a married friend of mine introduced me to the local bar where we would grab a corner table three or four nights a week and have a beer then he was off to his wife and family while I would remain alone at the bar for a couple more beers before I would call it a night.
I have always been a people watcher and sitting at the corner table allowed me a view of the goings on in the place. At first a couple of girls who knew my friend would join us on occasion to pass the time in conversation. Each night when my friend would go home the girls, being single, remained a while longer. While I watched the machos at the bar work the girls at the bar the conversation continued with my new found companions. One of the girls was employed and the other was a college student and a while later they would leave for home and I would stay for another beer or two before calling it a night.
After a few nights of this I found that the girls were also watchers and the conversation began to turn to the antics of the machos at the bar.
At first a girl friend or two of theirs would join us for a while and leave to join other friends or to dance. After about a week I noticed that all of the girls were spending more and more time at my table. The table in the corner sat four comfortably but within a month it was common for there to be seven girls seated and others standing around the table. No matter what topic began our conversations it always turned to the antics of the machos at the bar for a time. The girls knew nearly every customer in the bar and would accurately predict the moves of the machos and the reactions of the girls around them to a good deal of laughter and banter.
Some of the girls that hung around the machos would occasionally join us at the table in the corner but were always the first to drift back to the machos at the bar. What I found was that the machos attracted the girls who were new to the bar or girls who were shallower minded.
Over the course of several months and continuing until I moved on I had the opportunity to either take each of the girls home or visit them at their homes. Many times I was invited in to continue an ongoing conversation with a final nightcap. I will not deny that there were occasions for sex, there were, but the opportunity to enjoy the company and conversation of an intelligent woman is something to be recommended.
So, Diego, watch the quiet guy at the corner table. He may be far luckier than you are. After ten single years I married one of those young ladies 30 years ago and still enjoy the benefit of [b]intelligent[/b] conversation as well as the sex.
February 21, 2010 at 12:39 pm #198790noel2560Member[quote=”DawnVA”]Wow, I sure hope you have stock in condoms. I could so tear your post apart line for line, it’s ridiculous. Let’s get your shallow conclusion out the way…culture doesn’t make a man cheat, a man cheats by CHOICE. AMEN.
It’s pretty simple to me…if you wanta taste all the flavors, then don’t ask for a woman’s hand in marriage…doesn’t that normally get the ball (and chain?) rolling….
One more thing: insecurity = sex = power = insecurity = sex = power = insecurity…and so the male cycle continues.PS – this isn’t written from the female perspective because we all don’t have the same perspective, this is MY perspective and MY opinion on your shallow, egotistical post.
Cheers![/quote]
wow your not too bitter eh man hater, men cheat cause they are married to a bitch that quits having sex because they need romance….blah blah blah men need pussy!February 21, 2010 at 1:29 pm #198791maravillaMembernobody ever died from not having sex.
February 21, 2010 at 2:09 pm #198792jdocopMemberRight on, Maravilla. Sure can’t say the opposite, though, can we?
February 21, 2010 at 2:14 pm #198793maravillaMemberi know plenty of people who are dead because of it. being profligate and libertine in this day and age often is a death sentence. seems pretty silly to me, but what the heck do i know?
February 21, 2010 at 2:52 pm #198794waggoner41Member[quote=”noel2560″]
wow your not too bitter eh man hater, men cheat cause they are married to a bitch that quits having sex because they need romance….blah blah blah men need pussy![/quote]Now there’s a statement that sounds like the pot calling the kettle black. 😆
What do you tell you women? “If you’ll just lay down and shut up I’ll be done in a minute.”:twisted: -
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