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I am posting to WeLoveCostaRica.com because I have received a lot of much needed help from Scott and many others. I hope that I will be able to share this unfortunate situation that I just got out of.
I moved “full time” to Atenas, Costa Rica in June 2006. I had previouse met “what I thought to be” a nice family. They told me “you’re part of our family” etc. I even had the family over for the last Christmas Eve dinner.
I was very happy and felt very blessed to have met a family that was so willing to help. My first mistake was paying for their help….IE $20 for taking me shopping, or $20 for referring me to a lawyer etc.
The family was a mother, daughter (lawyer), son & daughter-in-law who spent a lot of time with me, and another son.
The Son and daughter-in-law, asked to use my washer and dryer on Sundays, so I of course, feeling thankful for their friendship, said sure and then it turned into their being here for breakfast. Then in the last few months, they’d arrive a 6PM while dinner was being prepared. Not wanting to wait out their exit, I would offer dinner and of course they accepted. This then became a 4 night ritual. She was cleaning my house (2300sq ft) twice a month for $50…….I thought that to be a little high, but then too I felt like I might be helping them a little. Then last month she said she had to raise the price to $80 a month for 2 cleanings… I thought, this is as high as in the states.
The following day, the husband took my car into “a shop” where he said he got good prices etc… He charge me $480 for a clutch… I got the car back and it was runing horribably and he said it needs a transmission.
I decided to take it to a shop, where one got receipts etc and I was told the clutch was not new, the pressure plate was old and that there was nothing wrong with the transmission – just the pressure plate which is a $50 job. I went back a month and remembered a repair of $399 for an altenator…..this garage said it should have been around $150.
I brought this to the attention of “my friend” and tried to suggest that his “friends” were charging “him” too much etc. Well he took it personally and called me every slanderous name he could think of.
I was taken back, but then again, he got caught padding my bills etc. I new of another person who had bad dealing with this “friend of mine” and I was told that this person, lives off of the Gringo’s wallets.
He said one thing that stuck in my mind and holds so true to my problem……….Tico’s, who out to tap into your wallet, will make you think they like you and will show you all the right places and a good time – but it’s all with and about your money………..
I surely can’t put all Tico’s into this category. I have Tico friends that do pay their way, don’t want money for every little bit of help and that have invited me to dinner etc. One suggested to me that this couple was “up to no good”……
To end this family thing – the mother got to me by selling me watered down colognes, the brother owes me for borrowed money to get a new TV, the “friends” – way overboard their…..I even gave the wife some of my mothers expensive rings etc. (who passed in May 2006)…the sister – well she got to me with my residency………I could go on, but you’re probably very bored reading this.
Please be careful! Other than this…..I love this beautiful Country……it’s my fault that this happened……I just got sucked in I guess.
It is indeed a very unfortunate situation and this couple are definitely “up to no good.”
Some people might say that you were overly generous but you are who you are and you’re not going to change now and, sounds like they would have tried to take advantage of you no matter what.
I was also taken advantage of when I first arrived here in Costa Rica, and it was a mistake that cost me an untold amount of money in lost business but I can’t blame the Ticos for that one because it was an American CPA & tax attorney living in Costa Rica that ripped me off and he actually said to a friend of mine that as a Jew he was proud of the fact that he took away business from me – a non-Jew, even though we were partners at the time… But thankfully I have many Jewish friends that do not think the same way as he does.
There are leeches of every kind in every country and we should certainly be aware of people that are just too helpful and, we should also always make sure that others understand our personal boundaries.
So how did this end? And please tell me that they do NOT have the keys to your home?
Scott Oliver
WeLoveCostaRica.comScott
Unfortunately they do have keys and a gate opener…..I have requested their returned, but they don’t reply to my “phone messages”. I do have an on/off switch to the gate, so it can’t be opened with the remote now…..my house is very secure, so hopefully they won’t attempt to use the keys, should they get into the yard. I did tell them “via phone message” that should anyone enter this house that they will be the first one the cops talk to because only they have keys………..probably can’t frighten them, but I tried.
When I got this house I still lived in the states, “he” suggested he and his wife move in and watch the house……I thought, great idea so I welcomed the idea. They sent me an email and said that they’d only charge me $300 a month for watching the house and it’s furnishings………..I thought, well OK……….now I find out that $300 is a months salary for some. He was recently fired from his job for stealing…….then I doubted it, knowing how rumor spread, now I can surely believe it. I will have all the locks changed this coming week since he has made no effort to return the keys etc.
Last month I got a “refund check” of $500 from my transport company and he said “The bank will hold it 30 working day, so let me cash it thru a friend for you and you can give me $50 bucks……….I said – OK….thinking they might be needing money……I was the sucker, I know that now…….but it’s not going to happen again……I will not consider Tico’s to be like this family……But, I will be a lot more careful.
I mentioned the rings etc – his wife almost begged for a few of the rings…..I thought, well what can I do with them, so I gave her probably $2000 in rings and bracelets etc. I think this could have gotten a lot worse had I not checked on the cutch prices.
Thanks Scott!
All locks changed – definitely and if I were you, I would also visit the local friendly policeman and ask him if there is anything he would advise you to do to protect your property…
Let him think that you consider him an expert in ‘security’ even though you probably know more than he does…
Do NOT mention the names of the people involved (he probably knows anyway) but just so you have officially pointed out your concern of a potential problem.
Good luck!
Scott Oliver – Founder
WeLoveCostaRica.comAnyone who has been in and out of Costa Rica for a year or two, or who has lived there for six months must have run into the propblem of ticos wanting to “tap into the Gringo wallet.” But my worst problems came from Americans. Thank God I was a little faster than them each time and I have so far not lost a cent. But you have to be on your toes all the time. May I also point out that I have been ripped off countless times in the United States.the only difference is that some Ticos feel we owe them something because we have more money than they.
On the other hand I would like to tell you about two Ticos who have proved to be absolutely the opposite. When I first bought property in Turrialba I eeded a translator to help deal with the builder. I found a young man in business in the town and he quoted a fairly high price for two days of work. Since then he and his partner have helped me build the first house by meeting with the builder and the architect and also with city officials and so much more. They took pictures on a regular basis as the building was going on and sent them to me in the States by Email. After the first two days they never asked for any money. I have transfered what i thought was reasonable from my Bank account to ther’s very few weeks and they have always been grateful and more than willing to help me.
My advice to any “Gringo” is, if it looks like they are starting to take advantage cut it off immediatley. Please don’t wait for things to spiral out of control.
I have offered a small cassita on my property to a family from the nearby village. The old man will be our gardener and our guard (with an electronic alarm in his house to let him know if anyone comes in the gate). But I’ll have a contract with him on a monthly basis. So he knows he has to keep his side of the bargain.
And, Scott, I’m glad you said that you have met a lot of good Jews since your one bad experience because I was starting to get a little worried at first. Real Jews are a blessing to the whole world. The others are not Jews at all, even if they do have a Jewish last name.
One of the best pieces of advice Scott gave here is to make sure you set and maintain personal boundaries. There are plenty of people, Tico as well as Gringo that once they have a foot in your door, it is an opening for them to take as much generosity as they can get from you. These people are users and although in the rare case it is totally innocent of ill intent, that is not typically the case. Knowledge is money, here even more so than back home. We all pay a little for the knowledge through mistakes we make. We made our share at first, and still continue to learn. That is what makes a forum like this so valuable, especially for the ones just now considering a move. The best thing you can do is learn from other peoples mistakes. It’s a much cheaper lesson.
dkt2u
Well put……One thing I didn’t want to do was to generalize Tico’s……I also have a few that I consider very good friends, personal boundries set!!! It’s like friendships in the U.S. – we split dinners, go to each other houses etc – not at all one sided like my problems friends.
I was taken advantage of a couple times in California….but by someone who I didn’t open my heart and home to. I had an auto stolen in San Francisco, but I guess my feeling then were – what do I expect in SF. In this case, I gave house keys, gate openers etc. at one point “he” suggested I give him one of my ATM cards just in case I need “him” to do any banking for me. Not even thinking “he” may have ill intentions, I would never have done that. His wife suggested that I write up some kind of a will as to who gets what of my “stuff”. I questioned that and she told me that so many North Americans die in Costa Rica without wills and that people just ransack their homes etc. I told her I have a will and she suggested I give her a copy…….I started to wonder why the will and why the ATM stuff……and this was after they had gained my trust.
Oh well, I’v learned……….Thanks for the input
I use this site so much for information and now to vent…..all your posts help my “confused feelings”.Yes, butch you have been had! Like everywhere in this world you have bad people as well as good people. You also have people that you pay for services that say they are friends but are really the con artist.
To generalize all Ticos in this situation is also like calling all gringos the ugle Americans which I am sure that we all have seen in Costa Rica.
Many gringos come to Costa Rica and think that all ticos are so freindly and they can open their houses up and expect that no one will steel from them. This is the the unexperianced gringo!
Maybe this is why my wife and her family are so cautious when they deal with people and have become very a private family. Just like every culture Ticos are not perfect and to belive different would be of ignorance.
People are people no matter where we find them. We will always find good and bad in every country. I’m sure we all have stories of being had. Sometimes we are not even aware we are being taken advantage of. Chalk up the bad experience to a lesson learned. In the future you will be on your toes and prepared for anything like this happening again. Out of wanting to be kind and thinking others will always treat us as we would like to be treated, we can get ourselves into situations like this. It is most likely the fact that you are a good, kind and generous person that got you into this situation. At least at night when your head hits the pillow, your conscience is clear and you can sleep.
A guide in San Jose once told me, Some Tico’s are friendly so as to help you…Others are friendly to help themselves.
I have been fortunate to find most Tico’s genuine and have only had a feeling of being taken advantage of a few times. It was for very small amounts of money, so I didn’t bother to argue. I have had worse happen here at home.
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