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I know you asked the guys but is it okay to give you a womans opinion. Most of us marry and spend very little time together unless we are fortunate to work together in a business. When my husband retired we discovered we had so little in common. He liked TV and I don’t, he liked musice playing in the house and I like silence. He got up early and I went to bed very late. He ate three times a day and after one meal all I need are snacks. The first year was rough, we capitalized on what we enjoyed together, and that was going to the gym. He played racquet ball and I used the treadill and bicycle. We would spend a couple hours in the gym doing our own thing. We tried very hard to meet in the middle, plus it is great to finally get to really know your spouse after all those years. You don’t really need any new interest because if you take time to discover each other you will find new interest. The thing to remember is that it is not all about you, nor is it all about her. Retirement gives you the opportunity to discover who you really are and do something about it. Time to care for yourself both physically and mentally. Work on your health and nutrition, that can be a full time job. Exercise your mind by challenging it. Find new areas of interest, enjoy your new life, look forward to every day. Sometimes our fear is not about spending a lot of time with our partner, sometimes our greatest fear is spending time with ourselves.
Thank you very much Jenny for your incredibly honest and sincere feedback, if anyone can make it work, sounds like it should be you…
Besitos …
Scott
[quote=”maravilla”]find something to do either together or separately. stay interesting by being interested in many subjects. develop friends separately, not always as a couple. all this retirement togetherness is overrated in my book. there is plenty to do here — there are animal rescue groups that need help; you could teach english at a local university; but what you can’t do is sit around and do nothing. it’s the surest way to kill your marriage, and die young. do you have hobbies? if not, get one. or two. or three, and i don’t mean young ticas. do you speak spanish? if not, take lessons down here from a native speaker. otherwise you will just be another gringo in a strange land.[/quote]
All that Maravilla says is true. If you have an income beyond SSI it is helpful. We don’t but we manage.
My wife and I haven’t had a lot in common for years but we do have our interests. We still talk about things that affect our lives or something new that one of us has discovered
For my wife there is a group called Newcomers with interest groups in the Escazu/Santa Ana area but they come from all over the valley. She is in a book club and she watches TV in the evenings.
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For myself, improving our property is my main goal. I spand a lot of time on the internet doing research on whatever interests me in the evenings.Together we go out to eat at the local Tico sodas but not much more than that. Saturday mornings we have a Tica to help with Spanish.
It was much harder for my wife to adjust and I needed to be aware that she needs help in this direction with transportation and suggestions.
40% of the wives go back to the States without their husbands. Don’t let yourselves fall into that trap. Help her find and fulfill her interests.
A word of caution…every Tica out there that is willing to spend time with you has a first interest in bettering life for her and her kids. They can get into your wallet faster than a pickpocket. Nice to look at and have a conversation with but leave it at that.
[quote=”DonDiego”]
Don Diego’s comments have been deleted because of VIP Member complaints.
We would ask that you please try to use less offensive language when you decide to share your life philosophy with us in the future Don Diego…
Thank you.
Scott Oliver
Founder WeLoveCostaRica.com[/quote]Don Diego would probably be better served writing a fiction novel than spending his time here. I think most of us have heard his type of posts in bars when we were single.
As the girl said “He said……, I thought…., could you imagine..?”
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