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Marvy – exceptional post.
One of the best wlcr threads of all time.
I’ll start with “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it.”
Fear is one of those responses.
There are fears and there are irrational fears. Fear is a natural response that some people use as a default response to most events. IE: Its new, unknown – therefore I fear it.
Let me take a side bar here: When I came to Costa Rica a couple of decades ago, those with irrational fears or the fearful simply were not here. It was full of Maravillas and their unstoppable attitudes (which I admire). Every one you met that time was a character, an adventurer.
Not so now. CR is morphing. With this change to user friendliness come a different set of people. What is interesting is they still have adventure blood but many are not full-blooded adventurers.
For these types to consider moving here proves they have adventurer in them, but these types have a need to rationalize their moves. The pure adventures of Costa Rica past used Maravilla logic. They didn’t come here for money, for drugs, for sex or gambling. They came here to come here. To adventure and see what happens.
So, to the partial adventurers, Costa Rica is suitable for you because of the domestication of the wild. But to get here you have to overcome your fears – that is, your irrational fears.
How you say? By asking yourself if the stories you tell yourself about your needs, wants and fears are really true. If those thoughts are bothering you after you find they are nice stories but are not really true stories, then ask yourself “who would I be without that thought?” You may find that you would be a happier more adventurous soul once you dismiss the stories that move you into default fear.
Keep the fear of what needs to be feared, just lose the default response: fear of the unknown.
Here is a clue: 90% of life is unknown. 90% of what we think is an assumption. If you question your though as to whether each individual story you tell yourself is true, you really find that most of your truth is based on some sort of assumption. It cannot be proved without a shadow of a doubt that your thoughts/stories are 100% true.
So don’t fall into what I call the uncertainty trap” “I am uncertain therefore I will do nothing.”
It’s all uncertain and if you want to win you have to make a bet: act.
We can only do our best to figure out what the best move is. You can never be certain of the results no matter how much you research and plan. Granted you usually do better with planning, but then there is serendipity. That animal has many heads!
So don’t fault yourself for failing and don’t give yourself too much credit for success. There is a lot of luck and circumstance to it all. However, do fault yourself for letting uncertainty stop you. Fault yourself for not trying. Fault yourself for irrational fear.
Boldness has genius. Providence moves upon bold acts.
I personally resonate deeply with maravilla, but all my life people have looked at me as odd. Being a maverick will do that to you. But Costa Rica was a maverick destination. When I first came here I knew I was with my kind. As of about 10 years ago, the middle America types began to arrive in big numbers. They are the ones bringing the “American Way” with them – unfortunately. The mavericks accepted CR and adjusted to her ways, Middle America wants CR to adjust to its ways.
Now the second generation of mid America types are arriving. Personally, I liked it better before, but that is not what this thread is about.
I strongly encourage “Molly Brownism” but we are not all that way: however, you can develop that if you take the time to examine your thinking. If you do, you will find that most of your thinking will make you hesitate. He who hesitates in martial arts is usually hit. He who hesitates in economics is usually the last guy on the and the first guy off. Life is limited in duration and at some point you got to move (just like mick jagger said).
Ladies and gentlemen lets give it uo for Costa Rica’s unsinkable Molly Brown….
Parallel lives indeed…
No harm no foul John. Anybody who is an RN has my sincere admiration. RNs are real life angels. Not that it makes a difference, “our” was a reference to her mother’s and my goals.
I resonate with soldier’s remark about using ones life skills and many are sorley needed here. That being part of a community would make it unique.
The unknown. Most are afraid of it. Boggey men under the bed etc etc. It goes back to the subject of why people come here and leave.
They don’t know themselves so they don’t know their wants.
Information is only as good as the person using it. You put high octane gas into a dragster and it roars.
Put it into a VW bug and you seel little reults.
So the info is good stuff to a point, but what really makes people move is passion. Unfourtunately people use other peoples passion to sell them something that is not a fit. This salesman attitude creates money for the seller but leaves inappropriate byers holding the bag.
Give someone who knows Costa Rica and themselves the right info about a house to rent or property to buy and then you will see results.
It is all about their readiness.
That readiness has a fondation and layer of knowledge built upon it before many pull the trigger.
Other just jump without any exterior foundation at all. Their foundation is knowing their needs – it’s an interior foundation. These types now they can live anywhere they choose because they know themselves enough to choose correctly.
You are not the first to think of this, but the trick is to identify the “lifestyle.” Its hard to get peole to participate regularly with a regime that may constitue lifestyle.
I am all ears. What do you mean by lifestyle. If you articulate it than maybe you will get some yeas and nehs about what people think regarding your community.
Also remember that expat is a wide term that includes all differnt types of life style. What is the common denominator? To fill your development you will need wide not narrow appeal.
If its all vegan you just eliminated 90% of your market. See what I mean?
“Pardon me for thinking (something I learned to do in public school). I’m so sorry I offended you (inadvertently, or otherwise), but what, exactly is your academic goal? You seemed to be critical of what you observed over a short two week time period, and pardon me again for accepting you at your word, but it struck me that you formed an opinion on an entire educational system based on that short two week period of time.”
Pardon you for accepting my word? Whatever that means, it appears as if you want to be contentious and have a struggle for rightness. I have not the time.
Where did I say entire educational system?
I said one local school.
I reflected my experience accurately and nothing more or less. I guess you just “were struck” incorrectly.
I explained my goals clearly: Preparing my child for an international experience. I don’t think further elaboration is helpful or needed. If you need to draw your personal implication on my post to banter your perceived superior opinion than that’s your choice. It does not strengthen your point though.
I condemned nothing. The school simply did not fit with my personal goals for my child’s education. And I could care less about UNESCO. They nor anybody else speaks for me.
If I felt you were being sincere in your questioning regarding specific educational goals, I would answer, but it’s obvious you have a bone to pick. Not on my time though.
Just because people disagree, they do not have to be disagreeable. I learned that in private school.
We were all born with the ability to think; however critical thinking is a learned skill. Sorry sometimes you have to lower the bar to reach a common denominator.
I do not find my goals ridiculous or elusive. As a matter of fact I find them achievable and resonable. Would you like it if I thought your preferences were quaint and outdated? I can do quaint, but outdated I don’t do. Maybe we could share our opinions without making personal judgements of others: inadvertently or otherwise. And remeber when you say “the only goal” – you are refering to your goal. So please do not try to imply your goals are universal. You may come to find out that the overwhelming majority of people have differnt goals than you do.
Of course there is nothing wrong with that. I did not mean to imply there was. It is simply a preference. My daughter goes to a wonderful private school with a fantastic liberal arts agenda.
Costa Rica has many social virtues. Emphasizing social qualities makes charming people. If you are raising a child that needs to function internationally, that is in the US and Costa Rica, than I am in favor or higher scholastic achievment.
Its a preference. You like red, I like white. I guess you can look at it as I would like my child to have the performance capability of a crossover sports utility vehicle, rather than a tractor. In the country a tractor functions better, in the city you would want something a bit more sporty that can do country too. I would like her to have the ability to function in either setting and then leave it up to her as to where she chooses to live, US, Costa Rica, Canada, France etc.
Last point: Costa Rica seems to be losing a lot of its agricultural roots and the school I witnessed was difinantly of a rual quality. So like John Lennon said, “either you change with the music or the music changes without you.” The question is, “how fast is the music changing?”
Changes here are faaster than they were, but the changes in the US and Japan are at breakneck speeds… We are raising hes here so she retaina her Latina roots and sees a world outside the US. With a bilingual global view she will be better suited to choose her path.
There is nothing wrong with families that have had many generation work the land. The Amish come to mind. We are not of that. Our lives are internetional therefore we try to prepare our child for the lives we currently live. If she chooses otherwise that is her chioce, but at least she will be able to function well in her choice, what ever that may be.
My child attended a local school for two weeks during her regular school vacation time. Basically all her neighborhood friend were in school so she attended to be with them and see what it was like.
Two pages of homework for the week. When I went to visit, it was obvious that socialization was more important than academics; the place was a zoo until the kids noticed a gringo parent was watching. The classroom was out of control and the teacher obviously overwhelmed. Now this is not a judgment about school values, but the school day started at 7:30 am and was over at 12:30.
The kids and teachers were adorable, but I found the local school unacceptable for achieving our academic goals.
Before you take any tour, read up as much as you can. There are two books I recommend about living in Costa Rica. Erin Van Reean’s Living Abroad in Costa Rica is a smartly written book. Phil Baker’s Costa Rica Now [url=]www.cr-now.com[/url] is written for people who want to travel to CR but don’t know where to start. It very well organized and comprehensive.
The first section features Costa Rica six regions and lists over 100 towns. It saves the reader time and money by shortcutting them to areas they may like best. I think it essential reading.
Its layout helps newcomers avoid three common errors:
Relocating in a palace that does not suit them best
Being unfamiliar with the culture before they move here
Buying a problem when they thought they were buying a propertyPart/Book1
You will find a regional guide that compares Costa Rica’s six unique regions according to
Weather
Access
Beauty
Infrastructure
AmenitiesPart/Book 2
All about the people and the nuances of living herePart/Book 3
Costa Rica owner’s manual
How to have a seamless purchase and the rules of owning hereUnlike Van Reean, Baker is a consultant who lives here and has been investing in Costa Rica for 20 years. He explains that he wrote the book for his clientele so he would not have to spend a lot of time explaining the basics of Costa Rica Living: the rules and the game board so to speak.
Baker says “Reading the book puts everybody on the same page so we can address the primary issues and not intricacies. I can offer more effective and efficient service this way.”
The book covers the countries six distinct and unique regions. All are beautiful but some will better suit you. Costa Rica culture has many different customs and attitudes. Remember Costa Rica real estate has no disclosure laws. The buyer has to discover all issues. The seller can actually do his best to conceal defects! Much different from the US where a sales contract has many pages dedicated to disclosure. Its a must read in my opinion. Don’t take my word for it, rather check out the reviews at
[url=]http://www.amazon.com/Costa-Rica-Now-Phil-Baker/product-reviews/0975586912/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt_sr_5?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&filterBy=addFiveStar[/url]
Mr. Baker has performed excellent work in a timely manner. If you know Costa Rica, that’s not easy to do.
Thank you – feel free to use it.
I remeber when a roadie buddy of mine said he was going out with the Santana Dylan Wail Souls Tour. I said great! I would love to thank Dylan for all the great music. He looked at me and said “Don’t you know, Bob don’t talk to anyone.” I thought to myself – “figures. What an ass.”
I always compose on word as not to lose compositions on the site.
Take care. BTW do you remember the poster that came with the Blonde on Blonde album? The profile of Dylan?
I still have mine!
I think you need to read deeper.
Dylan gave a message, but that’s not my point, just as the CR branding is not the point> The point is how we react to the message/branding.
If we like our images of paradise we eat up the brading/marketing also if we like the messenger we acept the pill.
Life is how you react to the message rather than the message. To fault the message no matter the messenger means that you are not taking responsibilty for yourself.
People tell themselves stories all the time to justify behavior. The pardise story is one more in a long line of stories we tell ourselves and willingly believe to use as impetus to act. That should be the crux of your article. Another gift and you are welcome for the comments.
BTW love Dylan for the music, not the man. Personally I belive him a genius but also an ass. That’s hard for me because of my love for his art. Its the same for Costa Rica, when you visit you see the art. When you live here you see the artist. Big difference.
Dear Molly Brown,
While I do find you indomitable, I take issue regarding creating images and then having to live up to them. I think you are revealing your personal paradise bias. You have conjured up a 21-century utopia, and in reconciling the myth with reality you find it lacking. Images are dangerous creatures because they have no faults.
If you are of my generation, then you know Bob Dylan well. Or do you? Yes, you think you do from his freewheeling tambourine in time and lyrics and rhymes, but you don’t really know him at all. And why should you? He is a businessman who created an image for his product (music). He was one of the first to admit that his image was a business asset: a marketing tool. As a result of the marketing, what people conjured up was a an altruistic 60’s revolutionary leader.It sold well, “Give the peole what they want” an old Chinese saying.
In reality, not so. Dylan was a family man, entertainer/business man.
Same goes with CR.
I don’t think its realistic for you or anyone else to try and hold CR to peoples fantasies about CR, because of marketing ploys and personal preferences (people need images of paradise). If you saw the move Collateral with Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise than you might recall the photo the Taxi driver had on his visor. It was a tropical island and when he had a moment, he would pull down the visor to look at it and “go there.”
Judges in CR are not sympathetic to people who claim they were fooled by salesmen. Here, we all expect salesmen to spin there words to sell a product, and that means withholding and lying.
It’s foreigners interpretations of marketing and their naiveté about the land, the law and its people that create the myth of paradise. Holding the nation and its people to other people images and marketing hype is a US kind of thing.
Here we see the hypocrisy and realize that people use it to sell. In the US, the hypocrisy is disguised.
It takes time to learn to deal with the hypocrisy and little lies told daily in CR. However, it is actually a more realistic view of life. That is – that we must accept lies and hypocrisy as part of daily living. In CR you confront it. In the US it is well hidden.
So, expecting CR to live up to marketing images and images conjured up from others lack of investigation is unrealistic. Like many other aspects of life, CR is a business deal.
It’s like expecting Bob Dylan songs to be true, and believing that Dylan was an altruistic voice of the times. Dylan was in it for the money and so is CR.
People do not like to have their fantasy squashed. Perhaps this is why they do not want to investigate Costa Rica. I know that after I read a biography about Dylan, I thought he was a hypocrite because he did not live up to my image of him. For me, after reading about Dylan, the music was never the same. Kowing about the artist tarnished the art.
Maybe it’s the same about CR. People don’t want to know because they want to maintain their unrealistic image of the country. This image serves them well when they are in the doldrums of daily life. That’s why they prefer to maintain them.
There, I wrote you article for you. Consider it a gift Ms Unsinkable. At least you have the theme for your article: Paradise Reconciled / Do you really want to Know?
