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Easier to beal with… hmm… If the confrontational attitudes clear the air. And the non-confront lets the problems fester with resentment – which is really easier to deal with. Non-confront is easier in a superficial way.
BTW – the bunnies wanting help??? Are you kidding?? Thet don’t want no stinken help – and I don’t want the competiton – Big pass there Cubana. Moros Y christianos anybody? How about a Crystal instead?
Was that attempted humor? / Or would those “some people” be you?
I believe in unity through diversification. There is strength to be found in unifying differences. Most think the concept of yin yang is all about polar opposites. It’s not. It’s about unification of opposites.
Most see the yin yang symbol in its static form as a line drawing. What they do not realize is the concept of yin yang is dynamic – moving. Imagine the symbol on a pinwheel spinning. Instead of seeing black and white (polar opposites) you see grey, which represents the blending or unification of opposites.
Someday everybody will be a shade of grey – so to speak (actually a light brown skin color) – so we live in a wonderful time when there are still different colors and cultures to appreciate – it won’t be that way forever.
I wholeheartedly agree that both the indirect and direct approaches are welcomed – but can there not be a time to use either one. Why rely on one approach? I was merely pointing out the differences.
I could bore you with the similarities – but you probably couldn’t make it to the end of my posts – you know like some of the big fancy four syllable word posts that the minority of people post on this site. Makes me sleepy just thinking about them – nightly-night.
Oh – and Alfred would not have anything to beat on his monitor about – can you imagine??? The good Diego is boring and all the girls profess to like the Good Diego better (This is where the sly- face goes – see me grinning?) – but us bad boys know the truth – now don’t we ladies??? (This is where the wolf-that-ate-the-bunny face goes – notice the look of satisfaction).
One last thing – I don’t buy into the straightforward aggresive thing and the passive non-agresive thing. The use of both approaches and their results depend upon intent.
Yeah, well all this nicity nice – is nice – but I am still waiting for a reply from the woman who wrote the biased article. Regarding my post, which she indicated in her post that I have no grip – o-contrare – I have quite the grip and she needs to rexamine her rosy little POV.
Anyways – silence is the voice of complicity – so I guess she sees that she is “gripless” and needs to examine her own hold on things before rejecting others POV in her contradicting ways –
The crhomebuilder article was the “Must Read” article. No such biased opinion there.
And I am sure some peolpe will consider what they say, and when they say it, and who they are saying it to – when talking to others face to face. You know. like Ticos do.
What did the dentist say to the assistant when the patient jumped out of the chair?
“Guess I hit a nerve.”
Some emotional bullies like to patronize others to get their way and then slap them to sleep and then slap them for sleeping – to all of those – and I think you know who you are – take another shot of venom and ask yourself who made you sheriff. And also mind your manners by remembering how you would talk to someone face to face instead of how you would speak to them when hiding behind a keyboard.
Some people get their knickers in a twist when you point out what they do not whish to see – its called “shoot the messenger syndrome” so for all of you that are thinned skinned or do not whish to see (none so blind as …..) please feel free not to respond to my posts – I and most here certainly do not need pseudo intellectual triads disguised to make others behave as others see proper They are boring and thinly veiled control dramas – the last one that appeared in my life was escorted out the door accompanied by a swift kick in the a– to the shrew that delivered it.
Ta-ta
Like I said
“Passive aggression is a very feminine type of aggression. Nicas don’t like it and sometime say Ticos are feminine because they won’t speak to foreigners sincerely and are quick to talk about you behind your back.”
Toodles
Can’t see the forest for the trees.
(This is a long one – if you do not have the time skip to No. 4)
From your response – based on assumption of my prerogatives – I might say – I think you can’t see the forest for the tress.
No 1 – the appearance thing is contradictory.
Look good so people can judge you by it – because outside looks are not superficial????
“Appearance is important, very important, not as in the frosting-on-the-cake important, but rather as in the pan-that-determines-what-cake-is-made important. “
One doesn’t see the pan – one sees the icing and that is what appearance is – icing/exterior – so this metaphor/dicho (if it is one) doesn’t hold water.
“It is a central axis around which much of Costa Rican society revolves. Decorum, courtesy, good manners, personal hygiene, clothing-reacquaint yourself with the iron, it is an institution here-the cleanliness of your car, the neatness of your house, these things matter to Costa Ricans and will be used by them to try to discern precisely who you are.”
These things are important, but they are pure icing – hardly the cake! Try honesty, courtesy, self definition, punctuality (which is the courtesy of Kings) and because being late – as you later indicate – is disrespect for the time of others – or – acting like your time is more important than the time of others – if you want some cake.
Later:
“The appearance principle is why the main vehicle for retribution is passive rather than active.”
Passive aggression is a very feminine type of aggression. Nicas don’t like it and sometime say Ticos are feminine because they won’t speak to foreigners sincerely and are quick to talk about you behind your back.
No 2. Tico time – is disrespectful. Hey – I learned to live with it, but you don’t catch me disrespecting other people’s time. Bad for biz and bad for feelings.
No 3. Money – “It’s serious, but like most serious endeavors in Costa Rica, at the same time it’s a gamble, a lark.”
Just like I said “kids (lark) playing grown-up games (serious).
No 4 Get a Grip Gringo
“Get a grip, gringo! In its self-aggrandizing condescension-don the mantle of burden, dispense alms to the peons-such an attitude is far more an impediment than an aid to mutual understanding (outside the halls of academia, that is). In the Costa Rican context, such an attitude is not only silly, it also marks you as a willing ninny-abuse me, I deserve it-and is likely to leave Ticos either baffled or with a lowered opinion of you. Plus it displays an appalling LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OF COSTA RICANS’ PERCEPTION OF THEIR PLACE IN THE WORLD.”
Actually I think your thoughts as described by your words (because you are so intimately involver in Tico life) illustrate an intimate perception of what Ticos think “is there place in the world” – through their overblown sense of self-importance. If you know any Nicaraguans – then you know what I mean. They have no such “self-importance” issues.
To me those who consistently need to feel or act important – do so because they feel unimportant.
Highlight – “Costa Ricans rightly consider themselves to be equal to anyone that might come here from away, and perhaps even a tad superior to some, PARTICULARLY THOSE WHO HAVEN’T HAD THE GOOD FORTUNE TO HAVE BEEN BORN COSTA RICAN.”
This is the gist of why I made that observation/remark – you sum it up nicely. Thanks for making my point which is:
“You are the invading Gringo from the North” which means – “You are not a Tico!” This Costa Rican self-righteous mind-set is prevalent and made obvious by the authors words (above). Obviously you consider yourself Tica. Get a grip Tica – you and your country mates are hardly superior
Later :
“Costa Ricans have a proud, self-directed history of long-standing democratic traditions largely unmarred by foreign dominance or intervention.”
This kind of false pride is due to the fact that they are wholly dependant on Uncle Sam protections. This lack of appreciation of US protection – and the Tons of Money I personally pay in taxes to support the military that grants Ticos such protection – bothers me.
The US government should be sending Costa Rica a bill for maintaining a functioning peace under which many nation (especially Costa Rica) have not had to invest tremendous sums of money into their military (Japan, Germany, Korea etc etc etc).
I don’t see what was such a must read about the article in general – hang on I am going to re-read it. I did, and, No – its full of contradictions.
“Beginning on an equal footing is more likely to lead to more genuine relationships, open communication, and authenticity over posturing.”
BTW- It’s hard to be on an equal footing with Ticos because they are such ethnocentric people.
I think the truth offends you and you think the ethnocentric culture you married into is superior – that’s OK – believe what you want – and parts are superior – but the inferior parts that I exposed have obviously insulted you. You article exposes your and your adopted cultures ethnocentricity.
I can live with it; many cultures are ethnocentric – Balinese etc etc etc. But please let’s call a vaca – a vaca. But of course you being a nationalized citizen and embracing the Superior parts of Tico culture – you would never call a cow a cow – of course it must be called an Oxen! Whatever.
Before people start to write about my remarks, let me put it this way – I like Ticos and overall enjoy their company more than living in the expensive beach neighborhood where I maintain a home in the US – if I didn’t I would not spend so much time here.
However – they are hardly perfect. I think they error on the culturally superficial side – where North Americans error on the materialistic superficial side. Ticos have a nice raw culture that provides lots of cushion for error. Are they leaders in personal development? – Hardly so – and by US standard they could hardly be seen as progressive,
But, I am not there for US standards – I am there to enjoy the land, the people and all their quite charming contradictions (Like thinking they are so important – when they are not). Like a Tica I was dating once said, “If you are going to get along here you need to know that “pura vida” can also be “pura mientida.” Works for me! I can play within the unwritten rules – it just seem that when I try to expose them – some take it personally.
You need to act right now with an attorney that will do the job, get results and not take you to the cleaners; I suggest you hire a consultant that has been through this with other clients to manage your case.
You are now in a legal labyrinth and you can find your way out – but it will cost less in time money and stress if hire a team – and START OF ON THE RIGHT FOOT – Time is not your ally when you are on the offensive in Costa Rica.
I think she went home to sulk? What da ya think Al – was I too hard on her. Should I have cut her slack because she is a woman. Naw! Poor thing probally depreesed walking on the Malecon all alone drinking a Cristal trying to thumb a ride in a 57 Chevy… Ocean spray in her hair, salt cristals on her fragil skin, traces of lipstick on the sleeves of her white cotton see through blouse – I can smell the faint perfume of melencoly in the air. Wow I am going back to La Habana – I am getting excited just thining about them.. Thanks Arabegon
Jo – you are right – it all does depend on the situation and the people. As a matter of fact all life is sight specific, however we can only reflect upon our individual experiences and there is always the exception to the rules.
You sound like you know how to treat the locals – I like that – good luck
Awwww – does this mean I don’t get a date???
Or are you just taking your Mojito and going home? Cantakerous – I am crushed!!!!
Ego bruise, well after that long rant of how satisfied you are with yourself, I have no need to name the party with the brusied ego – I am going to miss you Aragon – said with all the sinceity of a Del Rey girl talking to her boyfriend on the phone at in the 2 morning. Lets hope those finals are perpetual – Toodles –
PS How is it that you know so much about the Del Ray?????
