Retirement in Costa Rica – Bats Strike Out!

My wife Cindy has really acute hearing. She also happens to be quite smart as this little tome will attest to.

It began a couple of years ago when, as we were entertaining a few guests, who should arrive at the party but a bat flying around the living room. No it wasn’t Derek Jeter slinging the wood, it was a real little black creature with huge webbed toes commonly called a murcielago in Spanish speaking Costa Rica.

We promptly chased it around the room with a push broom as it deftly evaded us thanks to its own radar. Finally we turned out all the inside lights, opened the front door and, turned on the porch light… The flying insects promptly buzzed around the light and the bat gratefully exited toward dinner.

The bat came back with all its friends and family after realizing that our rooftop had a huge but thin little space between the metal roofing and the wood ceiling panels beneath. Their entry and exit point became a few holes under the ridge peak lying just a dozen feet above our bed.

This is where Cindy’s hearing came in to play. As yours truly slumbered restfully throughout the night, Cindy was assailed by countless scratching and riveting sounds as the bats observed band practice under the metal roof.

Needless to say, after the concert each night, the little creatures continued the local post disco rumba which obviously resulted in a rooftop population explosion. A month ago with knuckles rosy red from playing fisticuffs with the bedroom ceiling, Cindy declared war.

You must understand that to be ecologically green, we could not just gas the little bastards. Oh No! We must coerce them to move to another venue where they will still be able to do their dutiful blessing for nature by eating all the bugs, pollinating nocturnal fruits, and distributing all their copious little guano all over creation.

Being an environmentally conscious Architect, I promptly surfed the internet and came up with a “Bat Tower” condominium design that would not only gain LEED certification but also offer a preferred residence for the bats.

Some scrap lumber was sawed up and screwed together enough for two Bat Towers and one was immediately installed atop a tree in our front yard. The second was erected in the Miller’s driveway across the road on the oft case chance that we had under built and taking care that if these bats were from the States, they would also desire a second home.

It did not work. Not only did they refuse to leave, they threw numerous house parties and commenced to increase the attic guano rolling overhead. Enough already! With rising desperation, it was back to the internet.

The Bat Tower blog related that it was important to locate the Towers away from light sources, such as streetlamps, as the bats would be repelled by the brightness. Eureka! Cindy said, let’s put up a porch light under the roof ridge where the bats enter. This I promptly installed.

It did not work. It did, however, allow us to observe the coming and goings of the Bat Dinner and Ball in its increasing multitudes and intensity. At ropes end, we were facing the distinct possibility that Cindy would be relegated to the living room couch at night and Larry out of disco luck.

Our next door neighbor, Dagoberto offered to help. He carried a long piece of small diameter plastic water pipe up to the roof and promptly rammed it all along into the roof line just under the ridge in hopes that he could poke em’ out of the way.

It did not work. The bats just moved a few inches out of the way and continued to party. It is said that it is better to be pissed off than pissed on. The bats were doing both, and getting away with it. Didn’t Darwin say something about Man being atop the evolutionary pile? The bats were making that a pile of guano. Spanish speakers talk about a “milagro” (miracle) and it seemed that this was all that remained on the to do list.

Epiphany! Yes, the clouds parted and Cindy was illuminated. She said simply, why don’t we put the light inside the attic by attaching that left over string of clear Christmas lights to Dagoberto’s pipe and insert this magic wand of light back into the roof.

Hey! At this juncture, I was ready to do anything to preserve my disco rights, so an hour later and with thirty little grain-of-wheat bulbs taped to the pipe, the device was installed as the new Bat Ballroom chandelier. Ha! Take that you suckers!

Did it work? Well two nights of silent slumber with only a single lonely scratch on the metal would deem it so. We are claiming victory, but the jury will still be out subject to any appeal.

[custom_script adID=97]

Written by VIP Members Larry and Cindy Windes. Larry is a retired architect who has designed and built projects in dozens of countries around the world and Cindy was a computer teacher and administrator for a semi-conductor design center and they both now live in Costa Rica.

Photos by Hanna Yu and Erinne Miller.

Andrew Makarik

to@welovecostarica.com

Andrew Makarik is the main editor of WeLoveCostaRica, a fan of this sunny country. He is also a loving husband and a has a lovely daughter. By being a devoted family man and the biggest Costa Rica fan, he wants to make more people feel at home there. WeLoveCostaRica unites people and helps them find new home or a new travel destination. This website is a friendly community where everyone can find not only information, but also new friends and travel pals. Andrew is also passionate about IT and programming, so he himself maintains a friendly atmosphere in this cozy environment of WeLoveCostaRica.com.