The Emergency Exit Row Stalker. Part II
Last week was Semana Santa here in Costa Rica, which is the week long holiday celebrating Easter and Good Friday. They call it Holy Week but it really should be called Hell Week, because it actually is the only time where you want nothing to do with the beaches. Over one million Costa Ricans flock to the shores from the city, for a celebration that matches anything you would see on Spring Break MTV.
So for many of the permanent residents, this is our chance to go to the capital because it isn’t nearly as crowded as normal. Personally, I could never live in San Jose; I didn’t come to paradise to deal with a big city. But there are some amazing sites just outside of the Central Valley, and I decided this was a perfect weekend to see them. I have this bucket list of places to visit, and I continue to try and check them off it any chance I can. Besides, it is good material for my Newsletters.
We set out on Good Friday and headed South, into the mountains of Cartago, one of the oldest cities in Costa Rica with ruins dating back to the 16th century, and there is an incredible Botanical Garden there called Lankester Jardin Botanico. The 27 acre oasis is named after British botanist Charles H. Lankester and has over 3000 plant species, including one of the world’s most recognized collections of epiphytes (these are plants that grow on top of other plants or trees and use them for support. In other words, they mooch off the system; like ticks; or unfortunately, kind of like welfare recipients too).
Of course, like most places in Costa Rica, there are no street signs or names, so it was a little bit of a cluster nut to find it, and when you finally arrive you aren’t quite sure you are at the right place. It is surrounded by what we would call a warehouse district back home, along with body shops, car dealerships and everything else associated with a large business and industrial community.
And right in the middle of it all, is this magical, lush haven. As you enter the grounds, you are immediately taken through a series of well-kept pathways and trails that lead from one incredible section to another. Now, as you can imagine, I am not exactly a “flower” type of guy, yet I was completely blown away at how spectacular this nature den is. The first area is the orchid section, and there are over 800 in bloom, and you could spend half a day in there alone, smelling the different shades of the rainbow.
As you continue down the path, your next stop is the Japanese Garden. There are 4 or 5 adorable Asian huts, surrounded by little ponds and lakes, and the tallest bamboo trees I have ever seen in my life. They are at least 80 feet tall and tower over the Gardens. As you cross these little walk bridges, you see schools of Koi fish below surround by a Zen Garden and Budha looking statues. I half expected Tom Cruise to jump out in a Kimono with a sword as they were filming The Last Samurai part 2.
Making our way around the property, we went through a secondary forest, a succulent Cactus farm and multitudes of other plant and flower species. Other families that are well represented in the garden are palms, heliconias, bromeliads and conifers. The surrounding tropical forest is some of the best preserved in the area, and it attracts animals, birds, and insects to this protected haven. Hummingbirds in particular frequent the garden, and especially the nectar rich flowers in the butterfly enclosure. I have to say, I left very impressed and would recommend this as a day trip to everyone. I used to make fun of guys, who went to plant farms, but this experience opened my eyes, I have to be honest, and it truly was an amazing day.
Next, we went to the center of town and visited the famous Cartago church, Basilica de Nuestra Senora de Los Angeles. The massive grey and white Byzantine church is home to Black Madonna (La Negrita), Costa Rica’s patron saint, who is honored by a stunning spiritual procession each August. Pilgrims from all over Central America visit this sacred site to pay homage and receive La Negrita’s miraculous healing powers. While I wasn’t “healed” on this particular visit, I was humbled in the presence of such a powerful structure, with massive stained glass windows, Colonial Architecture and towering biblical statues and I found myself at peace.
Since I was now so relaxed, I figured it was time for lunch. As you can imagine, directly across the street was the Los Angeles Soda, known for their ceviche and tortillas, which were outstanding, and we chased this down with a couple of frosty cold Pilsens. We spent the afternoon stopping at various fruit stands along the road, as some of the surrounding areas of Cartago produce vast quantities of agriculture and it is still one of the main sources of revenue for the city. All in all it was a very fulfilling day.
Since we are on a roll with churches, I decided to go to my favorite restaurant in San Jose, Le Monastere located at the top of a mountain in Santa Ana for dinner. Originally the home and chapel of an elite family in the 1900’s, it was converted to a Monastery for religious novitiates. This magnificent place is now a 5 star restaurant with 270 degree views stretching from the Central Valley all the way to the Gulf of Nicoya.
The interior is decorated with European marble statues and exquisite antiques and there is a grand piano in the middle, which is played by a creepy looking Darth Vader type dude, and all the waiters are dressed as French Monk Frocks. The food is INSANE, but the coolest part is when you check out the actual chapel itself.
You literally feel like you are traveling back in time and you can almost imagine real Monks giving a Sunday service. There is also medieval style rustic tavern downstairs, where you can enjoy live music while soaking up the view after you are finished with your meal. It took the taxi about 8 minutes to get to the top of this hill, it literally just kept S turning UP and UP and UP, and I found myself wondering how a real Monk would ever have made it.
Mountain climbing and I go together about as well as oil and water, or dogs and monkeys. If I was a Monk, I thought, my Monastery would be at the bottom of the hill, next to a cantina because there is no way on God’s green earth I would hike up that puppy every day. You can lead this old horse to a bar and you can DEFINITELY buy me a drink.
This country has a lot of history that is for sure, but Costa Rica has come a long way from these old churches, as it was just recently voted one of the top 10 countries best prepared for the future of energy. It is incredible the mix of old and new, history and technology, nature and modern conveniences.
The next morning, of course, we made the biggest fruit plate you have ever seen for breakfast; I can never get tired of it, and my usual mug of 1820 coffee, spiked of course with Café Rica, and headed out the door. After spending so much time in these places of worship the day before, I guess I felt I needed to be a little closer to the heavens. So we decided to visit Irazu Volcano, the highest active volcano in Costa Rica, at over 11,000 feet.
I wasn’t quite sure how much work I was going to have to do to see it, as many of these sites have hiking trails that can kill a pack mule, but this one was about as easy as it can get. The drive up was one of the most spectacular 60 minutes of my life, as we passed hundreds of old farms, colonial houses and scenic stop areas.
Many of the little towns hadn’t changed at all since they were first congregated decades, maybe centuries ago, with the exception of an IMPERIAL beer sign every few hundred yards or so. I have told you time and time again, these guys love their cervezas. As is the norm in this crazy little land, you see some of the wildest stuff; things that make you stop and scratch your head.
We saw this man walking a goat, literally, or maybe the goat was walking him I don’t know. He had a leash around its neck, like a dog, and they were just trucking along, having a dandy old time. Since the volcano is located in the rain forest, it seems every plant and tree had been injected with steroids, and they were absolutely massive. I saw one palm leaf looking plant, and the leaves were taller than a human being, at least 6 to 7 feet long.
INCREDIBLE. There is even an old Insane Asylum that is now a relic of its previous past, and you can stop and pay a couple bucks to tour. Talk about freaky; this would be the perfect place for a horror movie and you could almost feel the ghosts staring at you from beyond. We didn’t stay long, as I am a real chicken and that stuff gives me the willies.
As you enter the National Park, you stop at the Ranger Station and pay a small entry fee. Again, this is where I appreciate being a Permanent Resident as it was only $2 for me but $10 for tourists, which overall is still a bargain. You can literally drive right up to the highest point of the peak, assuming you are in a truck or 4×4, as the pot holes are champion sized Costa Rican, park your car, and walk to the viewing deck.
You are literally at the top of the world, as you are higher than the clouds, and you practically expected a COPA airline flight to buzz by with my little flight attendant staring out the window waving. On a clear day you can see all the way to the Caribbean coast in one direction and the Pacific Ocean in the other.
I don’t know if it was the view or the thin air but it definitely took my breath away; you can’t get much closer to the heavens than here. There is of course the usual tourist center, for the purchase of T-shirts and other goodies, but for the most part it is very NON tourist trap and was not very crowded at all. The volcano is over 854,000 years old, and has had some massive explosions in the past, a total of 23 times since 1723.
The most famous eruption came on March 19 1963, which was the day President John F. Kennedy started a state visit to the land of Pura Vida. I wonder if Marilyn was with him on that trip. You can walk around the main crater and view the lake below, steam rising off its surface, and there is a total of 5 craters all together. One of them is named Playa Hermosa, which is quite ironic of course, and you can walk across this one for some killer photos ops.
“Sir. Wake up. Sir, please wake up.” I opened my eyes from this very nice dream, and there was my angel, staring down at me smiling. “Take this sir! Sir! Take this!” and she shoved a piece of paper into my hand. Could this possibly be her phone number or email? Maybe it was her room number at the hotel where they layover in San Jose. “We are getting ready to land Sir, please put your seat back and tray table up and get ready for landing.”
As I scrambled to pull myself together, I glanced down at the paper, giddy with anticipation. Unfortunately, it was just a customs form, no secret number on the back, no map to buried treasures, any address or phone number, or email or hotel room. It looks like I am going to have to plan another trip very soon and hope I get her flight again; the Emergency Exit Row Stalker WILL RETURN. Keep my seat warm honey.
The plane landed and we exited and down the ramp I went, and that familiar sign was there waiting for me again; Welcome To The Happiest Country in the World!
Glad to be home. Pura Vida.
Michael
P.S. I feel it is important to mention something that bothers many of us here in Costa Rica, and I believe is one of the turn offs to this magical land. The restaurant at the Liberia airport, inside the terminal, is called Players Club. I imagine they named it this because the only person who gets “played” is you. The food is atrocious, the service is pathetic and the prices are some of the most expensive in the world, and they hardly have anywhere to sit. I have had countless people tell me that after the best vacation in their life, they left this great country with a little bit of a sour taste in their mouth after paying exorbitant prices for food or coffee as they waited to board the plane.
I have a little secret I will share with you. Before you go to the airport, stop at the Subway sandwich shop in Coco and pick up a couple sandwiches to go. Make sure NOT to put the mayo or mustard on as the bread will get soggy, but ask for some of those little “to go” packets and apply it later, when you are on the plane. This way, you won’t be forced to buy something to eat at this horrendous restaurant that gouges the tourists, and if enough people spread the news, maybe the airport will give the concession to someone with a little better customer service and business sense. If nothing else, maybe they will go broke.
PPS. It seems I really upset a nice woman with my newsletter last week, as she was from Fresno California. I have officially pissed off 4 people now that I am aware of, with someone from the city of Buffalo; which I bashed in my Niagara Falls report; a Canadian from Alberta; whom I insulted with my igloo comment and an NFL season ticket holder. I would bet that I have upset a few dozen more fans actually; it’s just that most people won’t admit that they even root for the Cleveland Browns because they don’t want the humiliation or the embarrassment.
I have found that people tend to love me or hate me, there isn’t much in between, and overall I am ok with that. I am not running for public office and this is not a popularity contest, there is no Homecoming dance coming up anytime soon, so if you can’t take a little dark humor, you should probably unsubscribe from this website. Seriously though, if anything I said truly offended you, I apologize, this is all just for fun. Pura Vida.
One final sad note; Last week, our area lost an amazing man, Eric Lang. He was the local mechanic, used by everyone, and we all considered him a great friend. He was one of the sweetest, most honest people you have ever met, and he died way too young. God Bless you Eric, you will be missed tremendously. At least now all the cars in heaven will be running smooth.
Read Part I of The Emergency Exit Row Stalker here.
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The Emergency Exit Row Stalker. Part II
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Andrew Makarik
to@welovecostarica.comAndrew Makarik is the main editor of WeLoveCostaRica, a fan of this sunny country. He is also a loving husband and a has a lovely daughter. By being a devoted family man and the biggest Costa Rica fan, he wants to make more people feel at home there. WeLoveCostaRica unites people and helps them find new home or a new travel destination. This website is a friendly community where everyone can find not only information, but also new friends and travel pals. Andrew is also passionate about IT and programming, so he himself maintains a friendly atmosphere in this cozy environment of WeLoveCostaRica.com.
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